Bojo and the Rebel Alliance

The Westmonster Chronicles – part 6…


And so it came to pass that the great trap of Phillip Yellowhammer to thwart the EuroCrat Exodus was sprung. The quislings did vote down Sir Bojo saying “You will go to King Juncker and beg his to let us remain, for if you do not so then we shall rise up and imprison you in the dungeons!”

And Bojo said “Fuck you ! I’ll shall go the people and ask them to cast you all out and elect a new senate for you are defying the will of the people.” But the traitors were prepared and did form wider alliances with the Queen of Scots, the Changelings and the Liberal Dumbos and did deny him the chance to go to the people.

And Magic Grandpa didst call them together the quislings once more. “We shall band together to defeat the Bojo and none shall stand in our way! For I shall go to the people and ask them whether they want to leave the Eurocrats Empire or remain, but this time I shall put forward a deal which ensures that should we leave then we shall leave in name only, and Bojo shall be defeated! We shall have power over the people once more and will raise their taxes to build ourselves great palaces, for we are the rightful rulers and I shall lead you once more to greatness!!”

But the quislings didst not trust Magic Grandpa for he had been calling for the great reckoning for many moons and was now wanting to delay it until a time of his choosing, for he wast nought but a big girls blouse. And Dame Jo the Swindler declared that Magic Grandpa should not be the leader. And they knew that the people did not want him either.

And Bojo was not amused. “For I wouldst rather lie dead in a ditch than betray my people” he didst say. And the people loved him ‘though the quislings didst not.

But the quisling trap had been enshrined in law and should Bojo defy it then he would be cast into prison, for the law may be an ass, but ’twas still the law.

“I will find a way for my people to be free” he said.

(to be continued…)

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Bojo and the Traitors

The Westmonster Chronicles – part 5…

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And Bojo was a mighty popular leader with the common people for he had promised them an escape from the evil Eurocrat Empire and was determined to keep his word. But not all were happy. Oh no!

Magic Grandpa cancelled his trip to Bongo Bongo Land and called a meeting of all the pro-Eurocrat factors in the legislature, and they did sign a great charter swearing to bring down the leader and remain part of the Empire. And Magic Grandpa was so confident that he left his lieutenants to convene the meeting whilst he went to saddle up his white unicorn and visit the Queen of the Scots.

So Dominic the Terrible didst come up with a plan. “Bojo” he sayeth, “disband the senate before they can do you harm.” And Bojo did, causing a great weeping and a-wailing from the traitors on all sides who were defying the will of the people.

And Magic Grandpa called upon his minions to take to the streets and barricade the bridges and cause civil unrest across the land, for the momentum was with them. And many came and a great many more didst not for they couldst not be arsed. But Magic Grandpa was bothered not as he was enjoying tea with the Queen of Scots and having a jolly nice time.

And in the capital a plot was being hatched to bring down Bojo in the legislature, binding his hands and trying to force him to cancel the Great Exodus. But Bojo was having none of it and didst call the ringleaders, Phillip Yellowhammer and Dominic the Grievous to his presence.

“And if you rise up against me and defy the will of the people then I shall banish you from the land and send you forth into the wilderness” he didst tell them. And they retired to consider his words…

(to be continued…)

Bloody idiot

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Iain Macnab proudly flies the Scottish flag outside his home in Brunsmark, Germany where he is the burgermeister – or mayor. He has been elected to the post three times but Brexit means he will not be able to stay in office for much longer.

“The minute Brexit occurs, that’s me,” Mr MacNab said. “That’s the end of my tenure because I am no longer an EU citizen.” He has had that confirmed in writing by the state of Schleswig-Holstein that includes the Lauenburg lakes region of which Brunsmark is part.

The letter states that when the UK leaves the EU, British “people won’t be allowed to hold any office in a local council or local government”.

Unless he becomes a German citizen or secures dual nationality before the 31 October, he will be forced to quit the prestigious office he has held for 12 years. He has a German wife and two children. He says he’s a Scot and proud of it and refuses to renounce that to become German. He says he will move back to Scotland, campaign for independence and wants Brexit cancelled.

He’d rather relocate his family to a foreign country than take dual nationality. Nobody asked him to renounce being Scottish. He’s scoring political points and helping the BBC propaganda machine.

I am sick and tired of the endless anti-democratic BBC Brexit propaganda machine. I am sick and tired of the petty small mindedness of the EU bureaucracy and I am sick and tired of people like MacNab being so petty and pathetic that they would rather tear up their entire lives and those of their family than apply for a meaningless piece of paper that would allow him to carry on without any disruption whatsoever doing what he was already doing anyway.

Mr MacNab, you are a idiot…

Magic Grandpa to the rescue…

The Westmonster Chronicles part 4…

And Sir Bojo rose to power on the evil populist vote. Power to the people! But the senators didn’t like it at all. Oh, no!

But this bothered Sir Bojo not as he sought to purge all the traitors and backstabbers from his inner circle and appointed special advisors like Dominic the Terrible to enforce his will. For an iron grip was to be needed if the people were to be freed from the evil Eurocrat Empire across the waters.

And Magic Grandpa was much peeved, seeing his chance to seize power slip away from him, so he did plot a coup against Sir Bojo. And Grandpa crept around the factions saying “Depose the Bojo and I will make all your dreams come true if you make me your leader. And I will only do so until we are tied back into the Evil Empire then I will step aside!”

But the leaders of the factions were not impressed and didst reply to Magic Grandpa with a might roar of “Fuck off! For we do not believe you!” Even those in Bojo’s circle who wanted to betray him were not moved for they knew that Grandpa could not be trusted.

And so Grandpa took to the road to spread his message of insurrection and rally his troops. “Make me your leader” he didst proclaim “and I will give you all the money you have ever wanted. For I have a magic money tree. I am a modern day Robin Hood and shall take from the rich to give to the poor. I shall transform our land for the many and not the few!”

And the people didst reply “Fuck off! For we have heard it all before and do not trust you!” And the troops did say “Fuck off! For you a shite leader and will lead us all into oblivion!”

And Grandpa descended into a deep depression for even his own people didst not believe him. “Fuck them all! They are all traitors to my cause!” he wailed. “I shall go and visit the King of Democratic Bongo Bongo Land where I know I will be loved and treated with the respect I deserve”

(…to be continued)

The Radnor by-election farce…


Today we are crowing about the wonderful Lib Dem resurgence in the Radnor by-election which is, basically, a load of bollocks. Why do I say this? Well, let’s look at the facts…

Firstly, in March 2019, Chris Davies the Conservative candidate pleaded guilty to two counts of fraud concerning Parliamentary expenses, and on 21 June was removed from office by a recall petition signed by 19% of the electorate in Radnor. So exactly which fucking genius in the Tory Party allowed him to stand again in the seat from which he was overwhelmingly ejected?

To answer that question, could it be that we have to look at the outgoing PM who never wanted to leave the EU in the first place, threw a General Election to wipe out her own majority and decided to reduce it further by deliberately allowing a disgraced candidate with absolutely no chance of winning to represent the party? Well, you well might think that. I couldn’t possibly comment…

Secondly, The Welsh Nats and the Greens decided not to field a candidate whilst the Brexit Party took votes away from the already stricken Tories. Davies faced the triple assault of a united Remain front, being deeply unwanted in the constituency, and the NFU mounting a concerned Project Fear in a rural community – albeit one that voted Leave in the 2016 referendum.

The bloke had no chance of winning and was set up by a Remain party pre-Bojo. A lamb to the slaughter if you’ll forgive the obvious rural Welsh pun.

So now we are faced with the gurning face of the hapless Swinson woman who, quite frankly I cannot wait to see taken down a peg or two in October – a woman so out of touch with reality she does well to find her own arse. What an absolute farce this has all been. You couldn’t make it up…