Deaf, blind and stupid


It comes to us all doesn’t it? Old age. Second childhood. Senile decline. Death. You know? All that happy stuff…

My regular couple of readers might have noticed that I’ve not posted much lately. One of them might have wondered why. Well, to be honest I’ve had other things on my mind and, frankly, I probably forgot. Things at Chateau D are not all that bright and beautiful at the moment.

It started slowly. Mrs D was wondering if I was ignoring her – always a rather risky thing to do – but I wasn’t. I just didn’t always hear her or catch what she said. So she nagged on about getting a hearing test. Being an obstinate old bastard, I resisted as long as I could then gave in. Off I toddled to Boots for a free test. They said come back for a second one. Then tried to convince me to spend £2,500 on a set of hearing aids. Bugger that, thought I so on the advise of a friend I asked my GP to refer me to the local hospital. Apart from anything else, I wanted a second opinion from somebody who didn’t have a vested interest in selling me the damned things.

Anyway, to cut a short story long I am now the proud owner of a shiny new pair of NHS hearing aids. Just like the ones in Boots, but £2,500 cheaper and with free ongoing maintenance and batteries. I can hear a lot better, but this is not always a good thing!

Then yesterday I went to the opticians for my annual check up. She confirmed that the cataract in my right eye is progressing – thankfully slowly – but that I now have one in my left eye as well. So we’ve tackled the hearing, but the sight is an ongoing problem. Marvellous.

But am I worried about all this? Well, I am in my lucid moments. This morning I tried to put toothpaste on the shaver. Then I tried to put toothpaste on the electric toothbrush without putting the head on it first. It doesn’t work too well like that. When I did remember the head, I put my wife’s pink one on instead of my blue one. So far today has not been going well…

So deaf, blind and gaga. Not a great prospect is it? Even less of a great prospect for Mrs D as she’s the poor sod who is having to put up with my somewhat erratic behaviour.

At least now I can hear her complaining about it – when I remember to put the hearing aids in, of course – and for now I can see when she throws things at me (only joking, darling!). Hopefully it’ll be a goodly while before I’m too far gone to notice or care, and to be honest I worry more about what all this is doing to her rather than to me.

Old age and decline is a bastard. I wouldn’t mind but I’m only bloody 66…

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Does anyone really care?

Putin-Skripal-931915So an ex-double agent Russian traitor has been attacked in Salisbury probably by the people he betrayed. That’s an occupation hazard in the spy game.

OK his daughter got hit as well but that’s how the Russian Mafia work. We kill you and we kill your family if you step out of line. The only thing we should really care about is the poor bloody copper who got caught up in it all. He’s the only innocent in all this but being coldly cynical about it, it’s called ‘collateral damage’ and whilst it’s unacceptable it’s not worth a nuclear war. Anyway, chances are India and Pakistan have a good chance of getting in first on that front.

The fact is Putin really doesn’t give a fuck what we think. Some piss pot little island nation got in his way. So what? Yesterday he won a massive victory and another six years in power. The west will point the finger and shout ‘Fix!’ loudly but he won’t care. Like it or not, Putin is a strong leader and is genuinely hugely popular with the Russian people. It could be argued that he’s the sort of leader this country’s desperately in need of, but we have May. Could you honestly see Thatcher hiding in her office during an election campaign? Could you see her handing billions to the EU as a ‘divorce settlement?’

No. She’d give them all a bloody good handbagging and tell them to fuck off. That’s the kind of leader a country needs. Unfortunately, the country that has one is Russia..

Brexit Carmaggedon


Another day, another Brexit scare. It seems that a ‘group of MPs’ – Remainers perhaps? – have produced a study that says hundreds of jobs will be lost in the UK car industry if we leave the single market and customs union.

Let’s examine the possible scenarios in depth, shall we?

(1) We leave with no deal and WTO tariffs come into effect. Because of the drop in the sterling exchange rate we’ve already seen, foreign imported cars are more expensive. Similarly, exported UK cars are cheaper to buy abroad. The tariffs apply equally in both directions.

(2) All car imports and exports stop happening altogether. Really? No, but let’s assume so. As a result UK buyers are stuck with UK produced cars.

In either of these scenarios, UK car production increases, so naturally there will be job losses in the UK motor industry won’t there? Well, obviously not…

Can anyone take this seriously? Is there anyone out there who seriously thinks that VW/Audi, Mercedes, BMW, Renault, Citroen, Dacia, Skoda and all the other Euro car manufacturers are going to tolerate the Brussels bureaucracy killing access to one of their biggest markets?

Of course not. It’s just another Brexit scare to frighten stupid people like you and me…

Brexit treachery


On this Valentine’s Day, this day of love, this day of harmony and accord, we naturally turn our thoughts towards those amongst us who would seek to deny the basic right of democracy to the people of this country.

It’s the week when we explore, according to the Prime Minister, the ‘Road to Brexit’ and set our vision for the future; a future that many of our elected representatives want to deny us because they know better than us common or garden scum.

So as we’ve had one vote already, it seems only right that we should have another.

Click this link and take part in a poll to tell us who you think is the 2018 answer to Lord Haw Haw. The poll has been open for nominations since the beginning of the month and today is open for a vote on the seven who got the most nominations.

So many traitors, so little democracy – so let’s try and restore a little…

The hypocrisy of suffrage


Today marks 100 years since women were given the vote – admittedly only those over 30 but it was a start.

Let me be quite clear. I applaud equality for women in all things. Equally I condemn the hijacking of the word ‘feminist’ to mean more than equality and for it’s use in what has become the ‘War on Men’. Hence, as a lover of equality, I was unimpressed with this mornings offerings on breakfast TV.

On the one channel was Amber Rudd having what was quite an intelligent conversation with Piers Morgan. Morgan feels the same as I do. He supports equality between the sexes and abhors the hijacking of feminism. Rudd was commenting on the push to pardon all suffragettes. Rather sensibly, she said that she would look at each case on it’s own merits but condemned campaigners who broke the law by, for example, setting fire to buildings. These, as she rightly poiints out, are law breakers not law makers.

On the other side – good old Al BBCeera – was Harriet Harman. I have little respect for her and it diminishes every time she opens her mouth. Harriet was banging on about underrepresentation in Parliament because there are still more men than women. She supported the use of female only selection lists to address this ‘unacceptable situation’

What dear Harriet fails to understand is that you cannot bleat about sexual inequality in the House and then use sexual inequality to ‘solve the problem’. This is sheer hypocrisy. You cannot exclude either sex in order to have equal sexual representation. It’s simply illogical.

You could argue that constituency short lists should contain equal numbers of men and women and that the selection committee should be composed of equal numbers of men and women. The best person is then selected.

The Labour Party on the other hand would exclude men like Churchill, Atlee, Disreali, Wilson, Blair – some of our most noted PMs – and many others on the basis that they are not women and therefore wouldn’t qualify to apply.

It makes no sense and, I believe, the suffragettes themselves would have agreed that two wrongs don’t make a right…

…not even in the modern Labour Party