Barcelona

Take a good look and let’s nail this fucker

Seems to my week for getting wound up! I was going to write a piece about Charlottesville, but events overnight in Barcelona have pushed that onto the back burner.

More innocent people slaughtered and maimed, and what’s the response? The politicians wheel out their usual “We’ll all stand united” and “We will never give in to terrorism” bollocks. But what is the tangible, physical response?

Well, the French lost a few citizens, so we’ll turn the lights off on the Eifel Tower. That’ll show ’em we mean business!

The Spanish decide to declare three days of national mourning and hold a minutes silence. That’ll put the wind up IS!

The Moslem community, led by our very own London Mayor, Sad-dick Can’t, trots out the usual not all Moslems are bad people diatribe!

Well, what should we do? For a start we could stop picking the bastards up from out of the Med and bringing them to Europe. How about we pick them out of the boats, sink the fuckers, and dump the migrants back on a beach in Libya.

How about sealing the border with Turkey? How about stopping free movement for illegal migrants and sticking up a ‘great big beautiful wall’? How about bombing the fuck out of Islamic State? How about not letting people who join IS to fight back into the country by renouncing their citizenship? How about not being afraid to do anything in case it upsets the politically correct lovers of ethnic minorities?

But above all, how about stopping spouting bullshit and actually taking some action? What the fuck is the matter with this current generation? They’re in the middle of a terrorist attack and instead of running for their lives, the dumb fuckers are taking pictures of injured people on their phones!!! How sick is that? FFS, snowflakes, get real and do something!

And I don’t mean starting a fucking hashtag…

VJ Day


Sometimes, I get a bit pissed off and just have to let off a bit steam. “Shurely not!” I hear you say, but I’m afraid that this is one of those times.

Yesterday was VJ day. 72 years ago Japan surrendered and the second world war came to an end. Why does that piss me off? Well, it’s because nobody noticed. Not a single mention in the media or on TV that I could fine, not even on the Yesterday channel.

The Japanese regarded non Japanese as sub-human. To the Japanese there were three type of humans – male Japanese, female Japanese, and everybody else – who basically don’t count. I worked for them for six years. Luckily my Dad was cremated otherwise he would have turned in his grave. I can honestly say that if I live to 1,000 years old, I will never understand their thought processes.

I shared an office with an anglicised Japanese called Henry (not his real name obviously). He was scared shitless when his boss called him from Japan. He would sit to attention while talking to him on the telephone. I asked him once if his told him to go to the roof and jump off, would he do it? He replied “Of course”. I asked him if he would want to know why. He replied “Not ask unless have good reason”.

He asked me what I would do in the same circumstances. I said “I’ll tell him to fuck off!” Like I said, you’ll never understand them.

It took two atomic bombs to force the surrender. Two. Any other country on Earth would have surrendered after the first one. Not the Japanese. Facing an imminent invasion, they were training children to clamber under tanks with explosives on their backs and detonate them. And this was years before the jihadis thought of the idea. Ahead of their time, or what?

If you want to know why my father always reckoned they should have dropped a few more big ones until they wiped Japan of the face of the planet, then read “1,000 days on the River Kwai” by Col. Cary Owtram OBE, a senior POW commander on the death railway. His memoir was written in secret on scraps of paper and hidden inside bamboo poles until after the war. It’s taken 72 years to get it published because no publisher would touch it.

No, I’m angry about VJ Day being ignored in the interest of political correctness. We don’t want to upset our friends in the east.

But, frankly, if North Korea nuked Tokyo tomorrow then I wouldn’t give a rats arse. It should have happened 72 years ago in my book…

Eulogies


Sorry but I can’t stand it any longer! Not quite sure where the straw was that broke the camel’s back, but I think it might well have been the late Glen Campbell being described as “the greatest voice of his generation” FFS!

Have you noticed that these days everyone is a complete non-entity until they die. I thnk it might have started the Diana thing. ‘England’s rose, queen of hearts’. Personally I never thought much of the woman although I must admit that old jug ears did treat her appallingly. On the Monday after her demise, one of the women in the office failed to turn up to work because she was so upset at Dear Di’s Death (Great name for a band come to think of it!).

Since then we’ve been quick to talk up every bloody dead cunt under the sun. Lennon was a great visionary – no he fucking wasn’t. He was up his own arse, full of his own importance and high as a kite most of the time.

Amy Winehouse. Made one fucking album. Just as well because if she’d made a second one then people might have worked out that, frankly, she wasn’t that good.

And what about David Bowie? Apparently he was the best of his generation, a visionary, a prophet and could walk on fucking water. Actually I do sort of admire the way he cynically videod his own death just to promote his last great work which, incidentally, was also not very good.

And only today they were eulogising Mo Farrah and Ushain Bolt. “Athletics will never be the same again. We will never see their like return to the track!” Well, actually, yes we fucking will. All they did was run about quickly. Anyone can do it. You just put one foot in front of the other as quickly as possible. Next time there’s the borefest on TV that is atletics, you will see exactly their like again and, frankly, if we don’t then who would really give a fuck? Not me, thats for sure!

To put this in perspective, I recall a chap I worked with back in the bad old days. He was the most obnoxious, snidy, back stabbing son of a bitch you could ever hope to come across. A real nasty piece of work. One day – ironically whilst tearing one of his staff a new arsehole – he had a massive heart attack and dropped dead across his desk. Kid you not.

The next day someone asked me if I’d heard about ‘poor old Bob’. “Yes” says I. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke”.

The someone was appalled and told me that I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead. “Why not?” I replied. “The bloke was a complete cunt. The only difference is that he’s a completely dead cunt!”

Eulogising the mediocre has become a national trait in this country long overdue for a good stamping out…

Trolls and glove puppets


Those of you who read my ramblings with any regularity will know that I have attracted the attentions of my very own internet troll called Rickie aka Dickie Doubleday aka many other names – including mine!

I’ve been ignoring the little shit for some time. He will tell you that’s because he’s warned me that there will be ‘consequences’ if I ever mention him online anywhere and that this will lead the the impending doom that is ‘the finale’ something which I fear as much as Cardinal Fang fetching the comfy chair.

Anyhow, I ignore him not because I’m intimidated by him but because it seems to drive him nuts that I ignore him! So why am I writing this now?

The answer is that dear Rickie likes to talk to himself when nobody else will talk to him, so he pretends to be me so we can have imaginary confrontations. He’s hijacked a blog that’s been dormant since 2012 that belongs to a blogger I used to read called The Ranting Penguin. Under the top post, he’s posted a couple of thousand comments and directed people to read ‘his blog’ all over the internet.

The comments mainly complain about a blog called ISAC where I was an editor until the end of last year. There’s an article on there with the background. He became such a nuisance that he was blocked and his address – given to me by a group of several bloggers he’d harassed over the years – was published.

To cut a long story short, Rickie has posted on there continually attacking me and threatening me. He’s posted lies, filth and general abuse on there using my name. Over the last few days he’s also been on a forum called ‘Cunts Corner’ as Upton Man and as me. It’s been confirmed that these two have the same ip address so it just has to be him.

For the record, I am not Upton Man and I have never posted anything on the Corner. Apart from when I confirm my post by cross posting it elsewhere, I have not contributed to the crap on The Penguin. To emphasise the point my publically known gmail address was used. I never post comments under that address and I changed the gravatar associated with it to a red box with FAKE written in it which, to anyone but a half wit like Rickie, would give people a bit of a clue as to the validity of what was being posted.

I ignore Rickie which, unfortunately, just makes him madder. I’m writing this so that people whose blogs he’s contaminated using my name know it isn’t me.

I’m also trying to make bloggers aware that if you’re not going to use your blog any more, it would be a good idea to shut it down or at least time limit your comments otherwise twats like Rickie can openly abuse it.

As Rickie says, nothing on The Penguin can be removed except by the owner. Unfortunately for him, he seems to have forgotten that this cuts both ways.

So there. I’ve ignored your threat and mentioned you again. Now go screw yourself Rickie there’s a good boy…

Charlie Gard


My sympathies go out to Charlie Gard’s parents. A sick child is a terrible thing for any parent to have to endure and all the more terrible when the prognosis is life threatening or, even worse, terminal.

I have personal experience of this. When my grandson was born, his blood sugar levels were so low they couldn’t be measured. He suffered – like Charlie – from a genetic disorder which would kill him if untreated. This is CHI or Congenital Hyper Insulinism. In simple terms it’s reverse diabetes. The pancreas bangs out massive doses of insulin which destroys blood sugar levels.

We got lucky. There was a doctor on duty who had worked at GOSH and recognised the condition. He was rushed into intensive care and tubed up. Sugar was pumped into him to keep him alive. A few days later he was rushed to GOSH in an ambulance, blue lights flashing.

He stayed there for four months. 95% of his pancreas was surgically removed. He received live saving drugs every four hours. He was fed through a tube directly into his stomach.

When he got home, his mother had to inject him. At night a feeding pump kept him alive until morning. This went for years until a new drug was developed the meant he only gets injected once a month. This meant the feeding tube was eventually removed. He’s ten now. Checks his own blood sugar and eats something when it drops too low. He’s back at GOSH for a few days every six months for tests and monitoring. There is no cure.

Charlie’s condition is, of course, far more serious but there is no more terrifying an ordeal for any parent than losing a child. I remain convinced from personal experience that everyone at GOSH did everything they could in Charlie’s best interests and am appalled at the vilification they have received from people with no detailed appreciation of the situation.

I have no more knowledge of the facts other than what I have gleaned from the media and, from experience, that can’t always be trusted.

What I do know is that GOSH do not deserve the abuse they have received. I only hope that the people dishing it out never find themselves in the same situation I did.

If they do, then they might come to regret their current behaviour…