Sturgeon to resign!


Nicola Sturgeon seems to have pulled off a master stroke with her letter yesterday to Theresa May demanding – yes, actually demanding – that Scotland be given a second independence referendum. The Prime Minister is, however, having none of it.

The block buster letter reveals that should the Prime Minister not bow to her demands, then she will call a Scottish Parlimentary General Election on the single issue of an independent Scotland remaining in the EU after Brexit. Sturgeon says that if the vote does not give her a clear majority, then she will resign as First Minister.

It’s a bold move, but she seems to have completely missed the point that most Scots don’t want to leave the UK and the EU won’t allow Scotland to remain after the UK leaves as it isn’t a member.

Sturgeon says she has had secret talks with the EU and that they are prepared to let Scotland remain to punish the UK for leaving the club. She’s confident that she can carry a Scottish Parliament majority in an election and lead Scotland in to a bold new future as a subservient to Brussels instead of Westminster.

I’d like to see it happen because we might actually see the back of her at last…

Kindness


I was surprised to hear on the BBC Breakfast programme this morning that today is National Kindness Day. Why surprised? Well, it’s like this…

We already had National Kindness Day 2017 on 17th February. Did anyone notice? No. Thought not. Anyhow, according to Wikipedia – which as we all know is the definitive work for all things irrevocably truthful and accurate – we celebrate National Kindness Day every year on 31st March. Except we don’t. It’s in February.

Then again, I could be getting confused because I thought Kindness Day was on 13th November. That’s when the UN seems to think it is, and they should know. It’s their idea after all. Anyone notice that one? No. Thought not.

Seems that this year we’re having two. Or is that three? Anyhow, never mind because today’s the day that happens to coincide with the death of that paragon of selfless kindness, none other than Princess Di – or should that be Princess Dead?

Tessy Ojo, chief executive of the Diana Award (what else?), said: “It’s heartening to see that as a nation we’re kind and caring, but new statistics also highlight there’s much more we can do to make us even kinder. That’s why we’re kick-starting a campaign of kindness on National Kindness Day in memory of Princess Diana.” So shame it’s not actually National Kindness Day today. Did I mention that’s in February. Or was it November? I’m confused.

I’ve been very kind today as I always am. I held a door for someone to walk through. They ignored me. Then I stopped to let a old couple cross the road. They ignored me too. I pulled over to let a car come the other way. The driver ignored me. Then I stopped to let someone pull out of a side turning and guess what? Yes, they ignored me too.

So to hell with Kindness Day. I propose we launch ‘National Ill Mannered Cunt Day’ as that’s the way to seems to be panning out so far.

Still never mind. It’s also National Bunsen Burner Day today, and at least that will fit when I tell them where to shove it…

The great Scottish lie…


As we move towards Article 50 and todays vote in Holyrood, let’s see if we can educate Nicola Sturgeon on a few relevant facts…

First, Scotland can’t stay in the EU after Brexit because Scotland isn’t a member. The UK is a member. Scotland isn’t. Greenland was part of Denmark and therefore in the EU. When it separated from Denmark, it ceased to be an EU member.

Sturgeon is selling the lie that she believes Scotland can stay in a union it never belonged to by becoming an independent country. It’s not going to happen because it would require the agreement of all 27 countries to admit Scotland if it applied after independence. Spain has already said it would veto this, fearing an independent Catalonia.

Secondly an independent Scotland joining the EU would be required to adopt the Euro. Sturgeon wants to keep sterling, but the EU wouldn’t allow it. It’s a requirement of joining the EU that you take the Euro.

Thirdly the economy of Scotland isn’t strong enough to stand on its own. It gets money from England and it gets money from the EU. After Brexit, the UK would have more money to spend internally as it currently gives money to the EU part of which they give back to Scotland. The UK could match that quite easily after Brexit. Put simply, Scotland would be worse off outside the UK even if it was admitted to the EU.

In any case, Scotland on its own wouldn’t meet the economic criteria for membership – although I accept that those criteria have been fudged before, in Greece for example.

Finally, being part of the EU isn’t independence. If you accept your laws and economy being dictated by Brussels, then you’re not independent. You just swapped one union for another.

Sturgeon knows all of this, but doesn’t want the voters in Scotland to know it. For her it’s independence at any price – including not really being independent at all…

Uncomic relief


Jesus H Christ on a motorcycle, it’s come around again! Comic bloody relief!

It doesn’t seem five minutes since the last time this pile of steaming horse shit was heaped upon us. And it seems to go on longer and longer every year. Get your fundraising packs now, all proceeds to third world dictators and chuggers. Children brainwashed and forced into taking part at school. Get ’em young enough and you’ve got ’em for life – and if they don’t join in then the parents are dragged before the head and duly chastised, and their kids feel ostracised for not conforming.

Personally if it was my kids, then I’d tell them to grow and I’d tell the head to go fuck himself. Orwell would be proud.

So tonight there’s fuck all on the Beeb (what’s new?) apart from a load of has beens trying to relaunch their careers, so-called ‘comedians’ making us cringe with their puerile attempts at being funny, and starving cheeldren being wheeled out to tug at the heart strings and part us from our hard earned dosh. Well, fuck ’em. You shouldn’t have kids if you can’t support them.

Well, they can fuck right off because they’ll get what they get from me every year, namely bugger all.

And this year there’s ten different red noses to choose from. Personally, I’d like one with ‘cunt’ written on it…

Oh! Seems it’s been done! Where do I get one…?

A man of peace


So former IRA commander Martin McGuiness has popped his clogs. Personally, I’m with Norman Tebbitt on this one…

He told ITV’s Good Morning Britain fronted by Piers Morgan : “I’m just pleased that the world is a sweeter and cleaner place now. It’s not merely these creatures [the Brighton bombers] crippled my wife, but they also murdered five of my friends.”

Norman is a neighbour of mine. I see him regularly in Waitrose doing his shopping. I have always been impressed by the forthright way he expresses his views. He talks a lot of sense and says things that others shy away from. He’s an honest and straightforward man.

I confess to my own strong views on the IRA London bombing campaign, having nearly been caught 3 times by the bastards. I used to work in Westminster Bridge Road. I came to work one morning to find my office covered in glass and the window blown out when they bombed the Central Office of Information which backed onto our building. They bombed High Holborn tube station under the office where I used to work. Thankfully I’d moved on by then but some of my friends were a bit shaken by that one!

The clincher for me was the Westminster Tube Station bomb. I used to buy a paper at the station when I got on the train in the morning. Sometimes I’d cut it a bit fine and buy one the other end – at Westminster Tube Station. That morning, I got my paper at my home station. I walked up the steps – right past the bomb – and started across the bridge. About 100 yards across there was an almighty bang as the bomb went off.

If I’d stopped to buy a newspaper that morning, I’d have been killed.

That was enough for me. I got a job out of London at less pay. It was better than being killed or – worse – maimed like Margaret Tebbitt.

I reflect at this stage on the words of Custer when he was minister for Indian affairs. When asked how he reconciled his views on Indians with being a ‘man of peace’, he replied “Ain’t nothing as peaceful as a dead Injun!” I believe McGuinness, man of peace, believed there was nothing as peaceful as a dead protestant.

So that’s why I’m with Norman. The world is a better place this morning…