The Westmonster Chronicles – part 9…
And Bojo did attend the Great Conflagration in the Eurocrat capital and returned with a Great Settlement Deal allowing Britain to escape the evil empire on Halloween. And with great pride and pomp and circumstance he did take it to the Senate and said unto them “This is a great deal. It will free us from the clutches of the Empire. It will allow us to go forth in the world as a great power and masters of our own destiny. I commend it you!!!”
And the Senators did look at the deal and said with a great voice “Humbug! This is the same deal as Mystic Mavis did present.” And Sir Doddery of the Paddies did speak saying “Thou hast sold us down the river, thou arsehole. We shall never agree!”
And Magic Grandpa did say “Bojo hast taken Mavis’ deal and made it worse. I oppose it with every bone in my body, even though I do not understand it.”
And up stepped Sir Oliver the Halfwit. “I shall lay down an amendment” he says. “You must pass the legislation before us for scrutiny before we agree to your deal and you shall ask the Eurocrats to let us remain whilst it is done.” And Bojo did call upon him to withdraw, but he refuseth causing great consternation and anger.
And so the deal was refused and Sir Halfwit’s amendment passed, and Bojo was forced to request a delay saying “I am forced to ask for a delay I do not want and will not support and sod the lot of them and the horses they rode in on.” (Didn’t he say that before?)
“I shall try and try and try again for this is great deal!” And Sir Nigel of Widdecombe did address the people saying “This deal is a bad deal. It is the Mavis deal. It is false and duplicitous. It is a non deal and I shall fight it with all my might. And Bojo didst reply “Humbug!” for Bojo listeneth not and speaketh much…
And Dame Jo the Swindler cared not, for she would insist that the people were asked and if they agreeth not with her then she would ignore them, for she was a true democrat.
And the Queen of Scots careth not either and all she wanted was power for herself and independence for the Scots under the rule of the Eurocrats, even thought that was not independence at all.
And so Bojo didst soldier on. “I shall persever and I shall triumph. I shall keep asking the same question until there is agreement. I shall win.”
“Nessum dorma!” he said to himself. Over and over again. And again. And again – for Bojo was a great scholar and loved the classics…
(…to be continued)