And so it came to pass that Mystic Mavis did go to the Eurocrats and consort with King Drunker. “The people are revolting. mighty King” she did say. “They refuse to accept your kind and generous offer in return for pretending to be free!”
And the King was not amused. He put down his glass of wine, belched and said unto her “Your people have always been revolting, but you are fucking useless, Mavis. Go back and tell them they must obey or there will be a plague on all their houses and an outbreak of super gonorrhoea!”
“But the people will not believe it” she replied. Give me more time.” “Very well, Mavis. You have until Halloween to persuade them or it will be the witching hour for you!!”
“Thank you, great King. But will we have to take part in the elections which I promised we will not be holding?” “Yes”, he replied” “And you must ensure that the people elect the people we want who will do our bidding.” And Mavis retreated home with a heavy heart to tell the people what they must do and who they must elect.
But the people were incensed and said a loud “Fuck you” to Mavis and elected Sir Nigel instead. Even Magic Grandpa was rejected and did soil his pants mightily. So Magic Grandpa came up with a new strategy. “We will ask the people again and campaign that they do the right thing and vote to stay in the Eurokingdom”
And the Ides of March did come to haunt Mavis and force her to fall on her sword telling the people that it was all their fault and that her advisors and supporters would not do what was required.
So Magic Grandpa retreated into his bunker, feeding his invisible pink unicorn and counting the branches on his magic money tree while Mavis’ entourage fought amongst themselves to replace her. And two leaders did emerge, Sir Bojo and Huntmeister Jeremy. They would tell the Eurocrats to go fuck themselves, but would they be allowed to do so? And which would succeed her? Time would soon tell.
Meanwhile Mavis was bitter and angry and plotted ways to confound her challengers using Project Smear to discredit them. And the people did grow angrier and angrier while Sir Nigel grew happier and happier at their disarray…
(…to be continued)