Election ’24

It’s been a while since I wrote anything much but it has to be said that I just can’t resist a General Election – and this one has the prospect of being a real cracker…

I guess the real question this time around is going to be which cunt do you dislike the least? Will it be Mr Flipflop Starmer or The Suntan Kid? Not much of a choice it’s it?

Anyhow, here’s a very preliminary look at what interesting little questions lie ahead (with emphasis on the word ‘lie’ but in a different meaning!) :

1. Does Starmer actually have any policies? If the answer is ‘yes’ then will he still have the same policies next week?

2. The polls have Labour well ahead of what is, let’s face it, a pretty uninspiring Tory government especially since they axed Boris who at least had entertainment value

3. What about Reform? Well history tells us that parties with massive funding tend to do best so can Reform compete? Also how many disaffected voters from each party will use them as a protest vote because they hate their usual party but can’t bring themselves to vote for the other lot?

4. Scotland. Traditionally Labour but dominated by the now discredited SNP. How many will defect to Oily Al’s Alba party and how many will return to Labour?

5. What will happen to the Tories? They’ll almost certainly lose and after Truss who would be surprised. Sunak will be toast but who have they got to replace him? Nobody comes to mind.

I’ll be keeping a watchful eye on proceedings and policies as they emerge, but my guess is Labour will get elected with a smaller than expected majority and Starmer will be gone by Christmas when his usefulness to the Left expires. Then we’ll get Rayner as PM.

God help us…