Category Archives: religion

Oh Sod ’em !

A Small Town Man post…

News hitting the nationals this week from sleepy small town Bury St Edmunds. Seems one of the local celebs disapproves of the appointment of the new Dean of St Edmundsbury cathedral because he’s gay. Shock! Horror! How politically incorrect in these enlightened time where we all so willingly embrace diversity!

Which brings me to the picture above. For those of you too young to remember Spitting Image, this is Norman Tebbit. Our Norman is quite a big wig in Bury, famous for kicking a Chinese guy up the arse for letting off fire crackers outside his house as part of the New Year celebrations and telling him to “Bugger off!” As it turns out this phrase brings us rather nicely on to the point of this article.

Norman lives opposite the Cathedral and attends regularly. He also takes his bible seriously, and is adamant that the the new Dean, the Rev Canon Joe Hawes, is a “sodomite” – a biblical term seen as unacceptable by gay people.

He said : “I stand by what is written in the Bible, which is the basis on which the Cathedral was built. It says the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God. It cannot be a sin to be born homosexual. It is what one is. What I can’t accept is the activity. I use the expression sodomite. I find it difficult to accept a sodomite as a member of the clergy who will, for example, be called upon to conduct marriage services. I will struggle to attend if he is officiating.”

Needless to say he has been strongly criticised for his comments, but frankly if that’s what the bible says I fail to see how the Church of England can pick and chose what it decides to accept as the word of God and what it choses to ignore. Of course, in Smalltown, we do this all the time…

So good ol’ Norman gets a big thumbs up from me. Good on yer, Norm! Sod ’em!

The show won’t go on

On the 19th January 2010, I started this blog with a post about the earthquake in Haiti and how the first people out of the country when the airport reopened were a group of American religious hypocrites who, when God called to them to help the afflicted, couldn’t run away fast enough back to their nice comfortable safe havens in the good ol’ U. S. of A.

On Monday night a religious lunatic blew himself and loads of helpless civilians – mainly children – to bits in Manchester at an Ariana Grande concert. But – as the old show business saying goes – “The show must go on”.

Except that it isn’t.

This is, after all, the snowflake generation. They don’t display a stiff upper lip and carry on regardless. They griefjack and run away and hide. My grief is bigger than your grief. Let’s hold a vigil and read poetry because that’ll show the murdering bastards just how strong and united we are. That’ll frighten them into stopping…

So what does the snowflake ‘superstar’ do in the wake of this atrocity? Posts about how broken she is, cancels her tour, and buggers off back to her nice comfortable safe haven in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

Sound familiar? 7 years on and the ‘leaders of the free world’ are still showing us the way by buggering off and feeling sorry for themselves.

What she should be doing is saying loudly and strongly “Fuck you! I defy you! I’ll set an example! The show must go on!” But that’s not the way for the snowflake generation is it?

Still, I’ll bet her album is number one by the weekend. That’ll show ISIS we won’t be cowed…

God and humanity

God help us! It’s Christmas. I regard it as a break in the year with time for some reflection but unfortunately my reflections often depress me badly. So this year I though I’d offload them so see if it makes me feel better…

The other night I started watching ‘Humans’ that I’d recorded earlier. It made me think about what exactly is a human being? As far as I could see, what sets us apart is self awareness – consciousness if you like. ‘Humans’ is upsetting because it introduces the concept of non human self awareness in machines; machines that we have created. It led me on to think about the Darwinian theory of evolution and that maybe we were put here merely to create the next stage of evolution – intelligent self aware machines that would ultimately succeed us on the ladder of evolution.

That set me to thinking about where we came from. Personally I think scientology is nonsense, but that doesn’t stop people believing in it. Of course, some people will believe in anything, even invisible pink unicorns, but that’s up to them and as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else then where’s the harm in it? Scientologists believe in extraterrestrial beings, and they’re probably right that they exist although I question their interpretation.

So what about the ‘Botany Bay’ theory? Earth was an inhabitable planet so they dropped all their undesirables down here and left them to get on with it. UFOs are monitoring us to make sure we don’t escape. It would explain a lot about human nature like why we, as a species, behave so despicably towards the environment, animals and each other. We are, effectively, descendants of convicts – and not very nice ones at that. We don’t respect or value anything of importance.

Someone once said “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.” Personally I think that’s exactly what we did, but that’s just my opinion. I’m not an atheist as such. I believe there is something bigger than us and in an afterlife in some form or other, but not in a single superior God entity. To me it makes no sense.

A short time ago, a religious fanatic drove a truck into a Christmas market because he believed that anyone who didn’t believe in his version of God should be exterminated. The Nazis felt the same about the Jews. You can’t defend either of them, but it goes further. In Islam Shi’ites and Sunni moslems are killing each other. Same God, same church, different way of worshipping the same thing. The human mind is wonderful at inventing reason to kill people who disagree with you. I think they’re all at best deluded and at worst mad as hatters.

So there you have it, the Dioclese philosophy sermon for Christmas. If you’re a Christian and celebrating Christmas this week, good luck to you. You’re not hurting me and I’m happy to let you get on with it. Don’t ram it down my throat and don’t try to convert me. I’m not into missionaries and evangelists but if you are then that’s fine.

If you’re not a Christian then I say leave them alone to get on with it. Don’t try to kill them just because they’re different. You should leave them alone and they should leave you alone. Of course, it won’t happen because “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to find another reason to kill each other.”

Humans really are the most despicable species and if we don’t survive then we’ve really only ourselves to blame…

Some humour for a change…

After a stressful day, one man comes home and sits in his backyard, drinking a beer.

As he’s getting up to get a snack, he stops and asks, “Jesus, what is the meaning of life?”

To which Jesus replies,”You slave in the sun to support the ones you love. You make money so you can buy things for your family to keep them happy.”

The man asks,”Jesus, why is life so hard?”

To which Jesus replies,”That, no one may ever know. You have to overcome many obstacles to be successful.”

The man asks again,”How was the universe created?”

Jesus replies,”I’m sorry, señor, but can you stop asking questions? I’m trying to mow your lawn.”

It’s nice being a bastard…

I never liked Justin Welby. I always rated him as a superior, smug bastard – but now it turns out that he really is a bastard…

Seems mummy, the Lady Williams of Elvel (naturally being the son of a titled lady had nothing to do with him getting the top job) was a naughty girl and was shagging around with Sir Anthony Montague Browne just before she married. Such low moral standards, don’tcha know?

But according to Welby, the revelation is a marvellous thing! “I know that I find who I am in Jesus Christ, not in genetics, and my identity in him never changes.” says he. “Although there are elements of sadness, and even tragedy in my father’s (Gavin Welby’s) case, this is a story of redemption and hope from a place of tumultuous difficulty and near despair in several lives.”

So I’ve revised my opinion of him. He’s a superior, smug, sanctimonious bullshitting bastard.

God must be pissing himself laughing…