Category Archives: May

Mystic Mavis and Magic Grandpa – part 2

Theresa-May-1026221.jpg
And so it came to pass that Mystic Mavis did go to the Eurocrats and consort with King Drunker. “The people are revolting. mighty King” she did say. “They refuse to accept your kind and generous offer in return for pretending to be free!”

And the King was not amused. He put down his glass of wine, belched and said unto her “Your people have always been revolting, but you are fucking useless, Mavis. Go back and tell them they must obey or there will be a plague on all their houses and an outbreak of super gonorrhoea!”

“But the people will not believe it” she replied. Give me more time.” “Very well, Mavis. You have until Halloween to persuade them or it will be the witching hour for you!!”

“Thank you, great King. But will we have to take part in the elections which I promised we will not be holding?” “Yes”, he replied” “And you must ensure that the people elect the people we want who will do our bidding.” And Mavis retreated home with a heavy heart to tell the people what they must do and who they must elect.

But the people were incensed and said a loud “Fuck you” to Mavis and elected Sir Nigel instead. Even Magic Grandpa was rejected and did soil his pants mightily. So Magic Grandpa came up with a new strategy. “We will ask the people again and campaign that they do the right thing and vote to stay in the Eurokingdom”

And the Ides of March did come to haunt Mavis and force her to fall on her sword telling the people that it was all their fault and that her advisors and supporters would not do what was required.

So Magic Grandpa retreated into his bunker, feeding his invisible pink unicorn and counting the branches on his magic money tree while Mavis’ entourage fought amongst themselves to replace her. And two leaders did emerge, Sir Bojo and Huntmeister Jeremy. They would tell the Eurocrats to go fuck themselves, but would they be allowed to do so? And which would succeed her? Time would soon tell.

Meanwhile Mavis was bitter and angry and plotted ways to confound her challengers using Project Smear to discredit them. And the people did grow angrier and angrier while Sir Nigel grew happier and happier at their disarray…

(…to be continued)

Advertisements

Words fail me…

desperation1

Never underestimate the ability of people to be stupid…

Get ’em by balls…

4b647b1a02072027c84fce95369eb0b1

So Theresa May gives her first full interview on Sky News. To be fair, May has never been famous for giving much away to interviewers. She has been described as the hardest PM to interview since Atlee, so although Sophy Ridge did her best, it’s not surprising that May stood firm and gave little away.

Much has been spouted by her political opponents about hard and soft Brexit and lack of stated government policy. May was pretty scathing about her predecessor – especially concerning his total lack of preparation for a leave vote. The point is that Cameron was so arrogant that a leave vote was unthinkable, so no need to plan.

Whilst all this going on, the then Home Secretary was doing a John Major who famously developed political tooth ache during Thatcher’s final hours and then knifed her in the back. May was keeping her powder dry and avoiding Cameron’s pressure to declare her position as his position which it now seems it never was?

Her position is now becoming clearer. She believes that control over immigration and law outweighs membership of the single market. I believe she is right. We will still sell to the EU without being a member because it is in both parties interests for this to happen.

This is the so called ‘cake and eat it’ option. Brussels says it won’t happen but May just might pull it off. She’s an accomplished politician and no what you think of her, she’s nobody’s fool. As Spiro Agnew once famously said ‘When you have them by the balls, then the head and the heart follow!’ so never mind grabbing them by the pussy, grab ’em by the balls.

Ironically the person with the most balls appears to be a woman. Brexit? Bring it on and watch the woman play hardball…