Category Archives: J is for

Shitipedia: J is for Jobsworths

Yes, we’ve all come across them at one time or another, haven’t we? You know – the complete arsewipe who has to do everything according to the rule book because he or she has no brain, no common sense, and absolutely no initiative.

A couple of years back, Mrs D was accosted by one such person at Stansted airport as she walked through the doorway into the departure area. The man in the peaked cap – why do they always have peaked caps? – told he that she was only allowed to carry through one piece of hand baggage.

I pointed out that the extra piece was a small handbag but he wasn’t having any. Mrs D placed the handbag inside the holdall she was carrying and he was happy. She then stopped three feet past him and got it out again…

I also remember back in 2000 when I was doing a contract in London and had to change trains at Clapham Junction on the way back home. They changed the timetable and rather than wait 28 minutes for the half hourly train home that I had just missed – co-ordination? – I caught an earlier train and got off as normal at CJ.

I was accosted by a man in a peaked cap who informed me that this train stop was for getting on only and that I was not allowed to get off. I explained the problem, but he wasn’t having any. I was informed that if I did it again I would be prosecuted.

Strangely, when I got off the next evening, he couldn’t see me even though I did give him a yell and a cheery wave!

Deaf and blind as well as stupid. Maybe there’s hope after all?

On the plus side, J is also for Jobserve, through which I made lots of dosh over the years…