A Small Town Man post…
News hitting the nationals this week from sleepy small town Bury St Edmunds. Seems one of the local celebs disapproves of the appointment of the new Dean of St Edmundsbury cathedral because he’s gay. Shock! Horror! How politically incorrect in these enlightened time where we all so willingly embrace diversity!
Which brings me to the picture above. For those of you too young to remember Spitting Image, this is Norman Tebbit. Our Norman is quite a big wig in Bury, famous for kicking a Chinese guy up the arse for letting off fire crackers outside his house as part of the New Year celebrations and telling him to “Bugger off!” As it turns out this phrase brings us rather nicely on to the point of this article.
Norman lives opposite the Cathedral and attends regularly. He also takes his bible seriously, and is adamant that the the new Dean, the Rev Canon Joe Hawes, is a “sodomite” – a biblical term seen as unacceptable by gay people.
He said : “I stand by what is written in the Bible, which is the basis on which the Cathedral was built. It says the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God. It cannot be a sin to be born homosexual. It is what one is. What I can’t accept is the activity. I use the expression sodomite. I find it difficult to accept a sodomite as a member of the clergy who will, for example, be called upon to conduct marriage services. I will struggle to attend if he is officiating.”
Needless to say he has been strongly criticised for his comments, but frankly if that’s what the bible says I fail to see how the Church of England can pick and chose what it decides to accept as the word of God and what it choses to ignore. Of course, in Smalltown, we do this all the time…
So good ol’ Norman gets a big thumbs up from me. Good on yer, Norm! Sod ’em!
So the pope reckons that the story of the nativity can be likened to that of the millions of economic migrants streaming out of Africa and the East looking to exploit the naive generosity of Europe, especially the UK.
Well it’s a shame the silly old bugger doesn’t know his own holy book. I seem to remember that far from fleeing their homes for a better life, Mary & Joseph were returning to their home for a census.
The pope also reckons that faith demands that we respect and welcome migrants. It’s a shame then that the migrants refuse to respect Christian faith and that in the shit holes than some of these people come from they crucify infidels, behead them and burn them alive. Mind you, some of us recall tales of Bloody Mary and the Spanish inquisition, so I don’t think the catholics have much to boast about on that score.
And let’s remember that the Vatican is one of the richest organisations on the planet so I’d like to ask popey how many of these poor migrants they’ve housed? How much money have you given to help them in their own countries? I think we know the answer…
So on this Christmas morning, here’s my message to the pope : “Sod off you silly old bugger!”
On the 19th January 2010, I started this blog with a post about the earthquake in Haiti and how the first people out of the country when the airport reopened were a group of American religious hypocrites who, when God called to them to help the afflicted, couldn’t run away fast enough back to their nice comfortable safe havens in the good ol’ U. S. of A.
On Monday night a religious lunatic blew himself and loads of helpless civilians – mainly children – to bits in Manchester at an Ariana Grande concert. But – as the old show business saying goes – “The show must go on”.
Except that it isn’t.
This is, after all, the snowflake generation. They don’t display a stiff upper lip and carry on regardless. They griefjack and run away and hide. My grief is bigger than your grief. Let’s hold a vigil and read poetry because that’ll show the murdering bastards just how strong and united we are. That’ll frighten them into stopping…
So what does the snowflake ‘superstar’ do in the wake of this atrocity? Posts about how broken she is, cancels her tour, and buggers off back to her nice comfortable safe haven in the good ol’ U.S. of A.
Sound familiar? 7 years on and the ‘leaders of the free world’ are still showing us the way by buggering off and feeling sorry for themselves.
What she should be doing is saying loudly and strongly “Fuck you! I defy you! I’ll set an example! The show must go on!” But that’s not the way for the snowflake generation is it?
Still, I’ll bet her album is number one by the weekend. That’ll show ISIS we won’t be cowed…
And amazingly it’s not Dianne Abbott walking into a wall at the Police Federation meeting, or McCuntsky falling on his arse at the manifesto meeting, or Corbyn announcing policies not in the manifesto. In fact it’s not a member of the Labour Party at all. It’s not even Tim Farron. “So who the hell can it be?” I hear you asking…
Well, the answer is that it’s Yanis Varoufakis.
“Who?” you say. Well Yanis Varoufakis is the former Greek Finance Minister (look at the state of Greek finances and it says it all) and co-founder of the Democracy in Europe Movement – although the words ‘democracy’ and ‘Europe’ these days do suggest somewhat of an oxymoron. Seems he getting all worked up about the future status of EU citizens currently residing in the UK.
Yannis reckons there’s only on solution to this problem : “The answer is simple and should be supported both by Leavers and Remainers. Grant them British citizenship unilaterally and immediately!”
Well that’s bollocks Yanis, because there’s another solution that’s equally simple. The EU agrees to a reciprocal arrangement for UK citizens living in the EU except they’re not going to agree to that because the EU want the ECJ to take precedence over our courts even after we’ve left the EU. That’s not going to happen.
Of course, you’ve got no vested interest in all this have you, Yanis? After all, you’re just one of those EU citizens yourself.
So here’s a suggestion for Yanis : Fuck off back to Greece and stop telling our government what to do…
So former IRA commander Martin McGuiness has popped his clogs. Personally, I’m with Norman Tebbitt on this one…
He told ITV’s Good Morning Britain fronted by Piers Morgan : “I’m just pleased that the world is a sweeter and cleaner place now. It’s not merely these creatures [the Brighton bombers] crippled my wife, but they also murdered five of my friends.”
Norman is a neighbour of mine. I see him regularly in Waitrose doing his shopping. I have always been impressed by the forthright way he expresses his views. He talks a lot of sense and says things that others shy away from. He’s an honest and straightforward man.
I confess to my own strong views on the IRA London bombing campaign, having nearly been caught 3 times by the bastards. I used to work in Westminster Bridge Road. I came to work one morning to find my office covered in glass and the window blown out when they bombed the Central Office of Information which backed onto our building. They bombed High Holborn tube station under the office where I used to work. Thankfully I’d moved on by then but some of my friends were a bit shaken by that one!
The clincher for me was the Westminster Tube Station bomb. I used to buy a paper at the station when I got on the train in the morning. Sometimes I’d cut it a bit fine and buy one the other end – at Westminster Tube Station. That morning, I got my paper at my home station. I walked up the steps – right past the bomb – and started across the bridge. About 100 yards across there was an almighty bang as the bomb went off.
If I’d stopped to buy a newspaper that morning, I’d have been killed.
That was enough for me. I got a job out of London at less pay. It was better than being killed or – worse – maimed like Margaret Tebbitt.
I reflect at this stage on the words of Custer when he was minister for Indian affairs. When asked how he reconciled his views on Indians with being a ‘man of peace’, he replied “Ain’t nothing as peaceful as a dead Injun!” I believe McGuinness, man of peace, believed there was nothing as peaceful as a dead protestant.
So that’s why I’m with Norman. The world is a better place this morning…