Category Archives: fucking idiots

Words fail me…

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Never underestimate the ability of people to be stupid…

Electionballs

“I’m really really upset about Manchester – now stop banging on about my Christian beliefs…”

Here’s my round up of the piss boiling moments of the election campaign so far this week :

Tonight the Limp Dumps decided to replace their election broadcast with a heartfelt, personal and non-political message from leader Little Timmy Farron following the heinous attack in Manchester. Except that it wasn’t non political if you think about it was it Timmy? It was about getting caring, compassionate, Christian Timmy in front of the voters.

Bear in mind that this is the same Little Timmy who wants to keep open borders and free movement so more of these bastards can come here and murder our children.

Labour have announced that Corbyn will relaunch the campaign tomorrow with a speech blaming Manchester on ‘our involvement in foreign wars’. He will say the UK “must be brave enough to admit the ‘war on terror’ is simply not working” and that a Labour government would base its foreign policy on “solidarity, humanity and compassion”.

Good luck getting ISIS involved on that one, Jezza! And while we’re at at, let’s just remember that our involvement in the foreign wars he’s alluding to were down to a LABOUR government.

And this is the same Labour leadership who refuse to condemn the IRA, the last bastards who blew the shit out of the heart of Manchester.

Still there’s always UKIP or the Greens to fall back on. UKIP being so sensitive that they launch their manifesto while all the other parties have suspended campaigning.

And the Greens are making such a success of the council they control in Brighton that there’s talk of drafting in an emergency council to sort out the mess. Never mind, let’s all go hug a tree.

And what are the Tories doing? Well, May visited the victims in hospital and then chewed the bollocks off Trump after the Americans leaked pictures of the Manchester crime scene. Other than that, they’ve been keeping a dignified silence and getting on with running the country.

After all, someone has too. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else capable of doing it…

Unlucky for some…

It’s possible today that the labour leadership may be struck down by triskaidekaphobia. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s the fear of the number 13…

Today the Labour party has hit that hapless number over it’s pledge to hike corporation tax to 26 per cent in order to fund schools and grants to college students. Quite apart from the fact that he promised the Federation of Small Businesses he wouldn’t do it and that it will hit investment in Britain when we need it the most after Brexit, Corbyn’s shambolic team has already made no less than 12 other promises that are funded by the same tax increase.

Now every housewife in the country will know from balancing the household budget that you can’t spend money twice, never mind thirteen times. And as a former accountant, even at my most creative moments I failed to a way in which to spend money that I hadn’t got.

Still, it sounds good, doesn’t it? Raise taxes on the greedy rich bastards and use it to fund better education, smaller class sizes and abolish tuition fees. A good soundbite until you hand over to your Shadow Education Secretary to explain the policy.

Following a car crash interview with Diane Abbott on policing, Nick Ferrari has scored another goal with Shadow Education Secretary, Angela Rayner. Labour is promising to keep class sizes for five-to-seven year-olds below 30, while almost £5billion extra would be pumped into the English school system by 2022.

Ferrari asked her “whether she knew how many children would be affected by the class size pledge”. She responded: ‘There’s quite a substantial amount of pupils that are affected. I haven’t got the numbers on me to hand, but it is quite a substantial amount of children that are in class sizes that are over 30.’

Pushed by Ferrari on whether it would be 50 children or five million, Ms Rayner could only reply: ‘It’s a significant number. I’m not going to pluck a number out of thin air.” Frankly that does make a change for a Labour frontbencher.

Ferrari continued: ‘Do you not think it would be a good idea to have a sense of how many people you’re talking about? You are the Shadow Education Secretary. One of your key pledges is to try to reduce class sizes… I’m asking you how many this will affect and all you can tell me is it is a substantial number?’

Ferrari said that he knew the policy would affect 520,445 primary school pupils in England because he ‘did the research’. ‘Do you not think you ought to have had that number?’ he asked.

Quite…

Pontification

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What is it about so called ‘celebrities’ that they feel they have the right to talk down to the rest of the world as if they are some kind of degenerate mental pigmies? Why do they feel that they are so damned important and that only they know what is right and everybody else is just plain wrong? It makes me just plain angry…

We saw the latest example at the BAFTAs this week when has been, not very good film luvvie Ken Loach saw fit to proclaim that the “most vulnerable and poorest people are treated by this government with a callous brutality that is disgraceful. It’s a brutality that extends to keeping refugee children out that we promised to help. And that’s a disgrace too” he said.

Well, fuck you Ken because as far as I can recall you’ve not been opening up your unused bedrooms to house them so it’s alright for us to be inundated with with the flotsom and jetsom of the middle east just as long as you don’t have to have them anywhere near you.

And here’s some another gem from Loach : “In that real world it’s getting darker as we know. In the struggle that’s coming between the rich and the powerful, the wealth and the privilege, and the big corporations and the politicians that speak for them, on the one hand, and the rest of us on the other, the film makers know which side they are on.” Certainly do, Ken. You’re one of the rich and the powerful, the wealth and the privilege that’s speaking for us! Does this guy actually realise just how bloody stupid he sounds? I doubt it.

And, of course, arch luvvie Stephen Fry had to join in as well referring to President Trump’s furious description of Meryl Streep as “overrated” after she hit out at him during a Golden Globe speech, Fry said: “One of the greatest actresses of all time — only a blithering idiot would think otherwise — Meryl Streep. I would say underrated if I’m honest.” Well, you’re entitled to your opinion Mr Fry as I am mine. My opinion is that all three of you should stop abusing your platform to spout your political claptrap because, quite frankly, nobody really gives a flying fuck what you think!

And while we’re on the subject of two faced steaming hypocrite celebrities, what happened to all those ‘famous’ people who said they’d leave the country if we voted for Brexit? Still here, aren’t they! Just like all the other steaming hypocrite celebrities the other side of the Atlantic who said they’d leave if Trump became President.

Here’s a thought tho’ – maybe they all left after Brexit and came back after Trump? Just wondering…

Buying your first home…

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This weeks announcements about the ‘housing crisis’ and the plight of the poor snowflakes who can’t get on the housing ladder has caused me to think back to the ‘bad old days when I were a lad’ and how it was so much easier for my generation. Not.

Here’s how it used to work :

(1) You can’t afford to start with a four bedroom detached house in the same street where your parents live. You have to start with a one bedroom flat in a cheaper area and commute. That’s reality. Get used to it, snowflakes!

(2) You can’t afford to buy it on your own as a single person. In our day you decided to get married and bring two incomes to the table.

(3) You haven’t got a deposit so you have to save for one. This means you and your future partner opened a joint building society account and went without the simple things in life like going out every night with your mates, eating out instead of cooking at home, buying your coffee in Starfucks – that sort of thing. It’s called ‘making sacrifices’.

(4) After three years of saving, you went grovelling to the building society to apply for a mortgage. This was based on joint incomes, not a single income, and you had to prove by saving regularly that you (a) had a deposit and (b) could make the repayments. If you were very very lucky then you could get away with a 95% mortgage. 100% or higher was unheard of! 90% was the norm.

That’s how easy it was for us – which is why it makes by piss boil when I hear the entitlement generation whinging and bitching on about how it was so much easier for us and how they’re never going to be able to afford a home of their own. Reality seems to be something that simply doesn’t impinge on their view of the unfair, harsh cruel world that they’re living in.

In this life, you don’t get ought for nought. You have to earn it like we had to.

Get used to it…!