Category Archives: Conservatives

The Radnor by-election farce…


Today we are crowing about the wonderful Lib Dem resurgence in the Radnor by-election which is, basically, a load of bollocks. Why do I say this? Well, let’s look at the facts…

Firstly, in March 2019, Chris Davies the Conservative candidate pleaded guilty to two counts of fraud concerning Parliamentary expenses, and on 21 June was removed from office by a recall petition signed by 19% of the electorate in Radnor. So exactly which fucking genius in the Tory Party allowed him to stand again in the seat from which he was overwhelmingly ejected?

To answer that question, could it be that we have to look at the outgoing PM who never wanted to leave the EU in the first place, threw a General Election to wipe out her own majority and decided to reduce it further by deliberately allowing a disgraced candidate with absolutely no chance of winning to represent the party? Well, you well might think that. I couldn’t possibly comment…

Secondly, The Welsh Nats and the Greens decided not to field a candidate whilst the Brexit Party took votes away from the already stricken Tories. Davies faced the triple assault of a united Remain front, being deeply unwanted in the constituency, and the NFU mounting a concerned Project Fear in a rural community – albeit one that voted Leave in the 2016 referendum.

The bloke had no chance of winning and was set up by a Remain party pre-Bojo. A lamb to the slaughter if you’ll forgive the obvious rural Welsh pun.

So now we are faced with the gurning face of the hapless Swinson woman who, quite frankly I cannot wait to see taken down a peg or two in October – a woman so out of touch with reality she does well to find her own arse. What an absolute farce this has all been. You couldn’t make it up…

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Mystic Mavis and Magic Grandpa – part 2

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And so it came to pass that Mystic Mavis did go to the Eurocrats and consort with King Drunker. “The people are revolting. mighty King” she did say. “They refuse to accept your kind and generous offer in return for pretending to be free!”

And the King was not amused. He put down his glass of wine, belched and said unto her “Your people have always been revolting, but you are fucking useless, Mavis. Go back and tell them they must obey or there will be a plague on all their houses and an outbreak of super gonorrhoea!”

“But the people will not believe it” she replied. Give me more time.” “Very well, Mavis. You have until Halloween to persuade them or it will be the witching hour for you!!”

“Thank you, great King. But will we have to take part in the elections which I promised we will not be holding?” “Yes”, he replied” “And you must ensure that the people elect the people we want who will do our bidding.” And Mavis retreated home with a heavy heart to tell the people what they must do and who they must elect.

But the people were incensed and said a loud “Fuck you” to Mavis and elected Sir Nigel instead. Even Magic Grandpa was rejected and did soil his pants mightily. So Magic Grandpa came up with a new strategy. “We will ask the people again and campaign that they do the right thing and vote to stay in the Eurokingdom”

And the Ides of March did come to haunt Mavis and force her to fall on her sword telling the people that it was all their fault and that her advisors and supporters would not do what was required.

So Magic Grandpa retreated into his bunker, feeding his invisible pink unicorn and counting the branches on his magic money tree while Mavis’ entourage fought amongst themselves to replace her. And two leaders did emerge, Sir Bojo and Huntmeister Jeremy. They would tell the Eurocrats to go fuck themselves, but would they be allowed to do so? And which would succeed her? Time would soon tell.

Meanwhile Mavis was bitter and angry and plotted ways to confound her challengers using Project Smear to discredit them. And the people did grow angrier and angrier while Sir Nigel grew happier and happier at their disarray…

(…to be continued)

The Mass Debate

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Just finished watching the Brussels Broadcasting Corporation tory leadership debate which, I have to say went pretty much as I expected.

Faced with the usual leftie political bias one has come to expect from Auntie, poor old Boris was pretty much sidelined by adjudicator Emily Maitless other than when he was asked about muslim letterboxes, journalists imprisoned in Iran or tax cuts for the rich, all famously misquoted, misrepresented and on the whole totally irrelevant to the question being asked.

Wisely, Boris kept quiet whilst the others engaged in squabbling and brawling amongst themselves. All credit to him, even more so since every time he tried to make a positive point, Maitless talked over him and cut him off.

It was also unsurprising that the man who got the most airtime and was allowed to rant away to his hearts content was the guy on the end of the row who bore a surprising resemblance to Woody out of Toy Story. “Vote for me. Altogether now – You’ve got a friend in me!!

A most inedifying spectacle which did nothing to inspire confidence in our politicians or the media.

Rory Stewart, Prime Minister. More of the same. Son of May, but more of an arsehole than a mouthpiece.

God help us…

A Tory loses the plot…


Who? Fair question. I’m talking about Paul Bristow, the Conservative candidate for the upcoming Peterborough bye election. So why has he lost the plot?

Well firstly, he’s obviously a bit deluded. After all, their last MP was a Labour jailbird and their candidate this time is a trades unionist, and he believes that he’s the only candidate that could possibly beat Labour. So he’s completely ignoring the Brexit Party in a heavily leave voting constituency.

Secondly, yesterday morning as an admittedly somewhat pissed off member of the Tory Party – after all they did throw me out of a constuency AGM for daring to criticise the sitting MP – I received an email from Bristow asking for my support. I thought this a little odd as I don’t live anywhere near Peterborough. He was begging for money. Click this link “to donate £5, £10, £25, any larger amount” so I felt honour bound to reply.

I replied “You have a nerve considering I live in xxx.
If you think it will be close, you’re deluded.
I won’t help because you’re going to get slaughtered by the Brexit Party for which frankly you can blame your esteemed leader in the Number 10 Fuhrer bunker .
No deal is better than a bad deal.”

That evening I got a system reply that the mailbox does not receive incoming messages. So in a staggering display of arrogance, I am being told that I am important enough to send him money whilst at the same time being told I am not important enough to be allowed to express my opinion.

A true example of democracy in action – and that’s why Paul Bristow is a twat…

A badge of honour…

At my advanced time of life there are not many things that I can genuinely claim to have never done before, but tonight I can genuinely say that I have done so.

Tonight I was ejected from the AGM of my local Conservative Constituency Association. Yes, I admit to being a card carrying member of the Tory Party. In fact I joined last year with the express desire of being able to hold my Remainer MP to account for defying the will of her constituents.

Now party politics is not new to me. In 2015 I voted for UKIP and was a member of UKIP at the time. UKIP meetings were a bit of a shambles but at least they were all singing from the same hymn sheet and believed passionately in what they were putting forward to the electorate which is more than I can say for the Tories.

It started badly as not one single person on the front table thought to introduce themselves as they got up to speak. This always bodes ill with me because of the arrogant assumption that they are so bloody important we are just expected to know who they are. I’d never seen them before so was forced to ask – which didn’t go down well. Never mind.

After the usual formal waffle it was our MPs turn to address the meeting. The chap next to me leapt in and gave an passionate address about the Brexit shambles and the splits in the party and how if they didn’t get their shit together they would be massacred at the next election and how he’d never vote for them again. Pretty much what I intended to say so he saved me the trouble.

This was met with much derision from the assembled masses and a sprited response from the MP who proceeded to bang on about how much better things were under the Tories and how Corbyn was too dangerous to be allowed into power. Much of this has sod all to do with Brexit and totally failed to address my friend’s point.

I could resist no longer. I interjected by asking why if things were so good for the UK why we were kowtowing to a bunch of unelected EU dictators and why we didn’t have the balls to tell them to get stuffed. She waffled on about how good the Capitulation Agreement was because we needed a deal for our own good.

I asked what we would be getting for our money. That’s 39 billion plus 10 billion a year for the two year transition plus 8.4 billion a year that we collect on import duties and hand over to Brussels. That’s a total of 76 billion pounds or £1,200 for every person regardless of age in the UK.

That was met with a grunt of disgust from a bloke behind me so I pointed out that for a party that professes to care for the disadvantaged and needy in society, robbing them of £1,200 per head was a little hypocritical.

Our illustrious MP was a getting a little flustered at this point and got really cross when I continued by asking her what the whip would be in the forthcoming votes (she’s a whip) and how she justified supporting remain in defiance of the Conservative manifesto and against the wishes of the electorate in her leave voting Constituency.

At this point she lost the plot and suggested I leave the meeting, so as I could no longer tolerate her unbearable arrogance and hypocrisy, I decided to comply.

It will be interesting to see how that is reported in the minutes. Probably along the lines of “there was a sprited discussion with our MP” fullstop. After all, nobody asked my name and I didn’t tell them. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

The Tory Party was once known as the nasty party but I prefer to regard it now as the Arrogant Party. Seems its OK to be open and a ‘broad church, one nation Conservative’ as long as you go along with everything they say without question.

That’s not my way as my regular reader will know and never will be, so I say a heart felt “Fuck you” as I exit stage right.

Is it any wonder the EU are shitting all over us with this shower in charge?…