Category Archives: Conservatives

A Tory loses the plot…

Who? Fair question. I’m talking about Paul Bristow, the Conservative candidate for the upcoming Peterborough bye election. So why has he lost the plot?

Well firstly, he’s obviously a bit deluded. After all, their last MP was a Labour jailbird and their candidate this time is a trades unionist, and he believes that he’s the only candidate that could possibly beat Labour. So he’s completely ignoring the Brexit Party in a heavily leave voting constituency.

Secondly, yesterday morning as an admittedly somewhat pissed off member of the Tory Party – after all they did throw me out of a constuency AGM for daring to criticise the sitting MP – I received an email from Bristow asking for my support. I thought this a little odd as I don’t live anywhere near Peterborough. He was begging for money. Click this link “to donate £5, £10, £25, any larger amount” so I felt honour bound to reply.

I replied “You have a nerve considering I live in xxx.
If you think it will be close, you’re deluded.
I won’t help because you’re going to get slaughtered by the Brexit Party for which frankly you can blame your esteemed leader in the Number 10 Fuhrer bunker .
No deal is better than a bad deal.”

That evening I got a system reply that the mailbox does not receive incoming messages. So in a staggering display of arrogance, I am being told that I am important enough to send him money whilst at the same time being told I am not important enough to be allowed to express my opinion.

A true example of democracy in action – and that’s why Paul Bristow is a twat…


A badge of honour…

At my advanced time of life there are not many things that I can genuinely claim to have never done before, but tonight I can genuinely say that I have done so.

Tonight I was ejected from the AGM of my local Conservative Constituency Association. Yes, I admit to being a card carrying member of the Tory Party. In fact I joined last year with the express desire of being able to hold my Remainer MP to account for defying the will of her constituents.

Now party politics is not new to me. In 2015 I voted for UKIP and was a member of UKIP at the time. UKIP meetings were a bit of a shambles but at least they were all singing from the same hymn sheet and believed passionately in what they were putting forward to the electorate which is more than I can say for the Tories.

It started badly as not one single person on the front table thought to introduce themselves as they got up to speak. This always bodes ill with me because of the arrogant assumption that they are so bloody important we are just expected to know who they are. I’d never seen them before so was forced to ask – which didn’t go down well. Never mind.

After the usual formal waffle it was our MPs turn to address the meeting. The chap next to me leapt in and gave an passionate address about the Brexit shambles and the splits in the party and how if they didn’t get their shit together they would be massacred at the next election and how he’d never vote for them again. Pretty much what I intended to say so he saved me the trouble.

This was met with much derision from the assembled masses and a sprited response from the MP who proceeded to bang on about how much better things were under the Tories and how Corbyn was too dangerous to be allowed into power. Much of this has sod all to do with Brexit and totally failed to address my friend’s point.

I could resist no longer. I interjected by asking why if things were so good for the UK why we were kowtowing to a bunch of unelected EU dictators and why we didn’t have the balls to tell them to get stuffed. She waffled on about how good the Capitulation Agreement was because we needed a deal for our own good.

I asked what we would be getting for our money. That’s 39 billion plus 10 billion a year for the two year transition plus 8.4 billion a year that we collect on import duties and hand over to Brussels. That’s a total of 76 billion pounds or £1,200 for every person regardless of age in the UK.

That was met with a grunt of disgust from a bloke behind me so I pointed out that for a party that professes to care for the disadvantaged and needy in society, robbing them of £1,200 per head was a little hypocritical.

Our illustrious MP was a getting a little flustered at this point and got really cross when I continued by asking her what the whip would be in the forthcoming votes (she’s a whip) and how she justified supporting remain in defiance of the Conservative manifesto and against the wishes of the electorate in her leave voting Constituency.

At this point she lost the plot and suggested I leave the meeting, so as I could no longer tolerate her unbearable arrogance and hypocrisy, I decided to comply.

It will be interesting to see how that is reported in the minutes. Probably along the lines of “there was a sprited discussion with our MP” fullstop. After all, nobody asked my name and I didn’t tell them. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

The Tory Party was once known as the nasty party but I prefer to regard it now as the Arrogant Party. Seems its OK to be open and a ‘broad church, one nation Conservative’ as long as you go along with everything they say without question.

That’s not my way as my regular reader will know and never will be, so I say a heart felt “Fuck you” as I exit stage right.

Is it any wonder the EU are shitting all over us with this shower in charge?…

Words fail me…


Never underestimate the ability of people to be stupid…

Zak’s sacked

Personally I'd have preferred the bloke in the white suit...

Personally I’d have preferred the bloke in the white suit…

Well, that was a monumental waste of time and tax payers’ money wasn’t it? I refer, of course, to yesterday’s Richmond Park bye-election…

Zac Goldsmith, not content with being beaten by Citizen Khan for mayor of London decided to take a stand over the expansion of Heathrow by resigning the Conservative whip and calling a bye-election where he stood as an independent. Now, fair enough – resign the whip, cross the floor and sit as an independent. You’ve made your point, why labour it (no pun intended). But no. Zac decides to be a plonker.

The Tories in the meantime play a blinder by not bothering to field a candidate against him – which backfires because the Limp Dumps win the seat. Enter the arch idiot Farron, crowing about how it’s a revival for his bunch of idiots because they’ve overturned a 23,000 Tory majority. But you haven’t, Tim me old son, because you can’t take votes away from a party that isn’t standing.

Our Zac was convinced that the good people of Richmond Park would support his principled stand and vote him back in but miscalculated because nobody in Richmond gives a toss about a third runway at Heathrow. As it happens the Limp Dump shares Zac’s view so the only choice was between two tossers, one of who was wasting their money by calling an unnecessary bye-election. Is it any wonder they voted him out?

So Mr Goldsmith is now consigned to the dustbin of political history, and good riddance. Personally, I think Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope would have been a better choice than either of them…

Doing the cabinet shuffle [5]

Unbelievably, this is the fifth time this blog has commented on cabinet reshuffles. I’ve been criticised for not doing so this time, so here goes.

Seems our esteemed new Prime Monster has got the knives out. Frankly who could blame her? Would you want some of these backstabbing bastards in your team? I wouldn’t. Gove had to go, You couldn’t possibly have him and Boris in the same cabinet. Poor old Michael tried to be Francis Urquhart and failed miserably. Meanwhile, the Clown Prince gets to be Foreign Secretary and irritate the hell out of the entire EU dictatorship. I think that’s rather masterful…

And apparently Gideot decided ‘to resign from the government’ which is another way of saying that the arrogant son of a bitch was sacked – and deservedly so after his abysmal behaviour during the referendum campaign. Project Punish was just beyond the pale. He had to be consigned to the dustbin of political history and quite rightly so.

So what about the rest of the team? Amber Rudd as Home Secretary – strange appointment but then this is a nasty piece of work following on from another nasty piece of work. And at the risk of sounding like a mysogonist dinosaur, I’ve never really had much regard for Liz Truss or Justine Greening but I’ll keep an open mind.

The other clean outs have been interesting. Letwin – good riddance. Nicky Morgan – bloody useless. Whittingdale – lightweight.

As regards the Brexiteers, I find David Davis an interesting choice but he’s hardly likely to upset either side of the argument and is a bit of an unknown but with Fox at Trade and BoJo as Foreign Secretary there’s going to be a lot of scrutiny to keep him in line. I’ll watch developments here with great interest.

Meanwhile, the night of the long knives continues and I wait with baited breath to see what May does with Andrea Leadsom.

And in case you missed it, here’s another cabinet shuffle. I think I spotted Gove with a banana on his head, and Theresa in a chicken costume…

Altogether now : “That’s the way to do it…!