Category Archives: Clegg

What price honour…?


For some years the New Year Honours List has been tasking a lot of flack – and deservedly so – for some of the people that have had gongs handed out for the most bizarre reasons, so I suppose that it’s not much of a surprise that this year is no exception.

Nick Clegg is to get a knighthood. Bad enough when they knighted total non-entity Vince Cable who, as business secretary in the coalition – a position if you will recall that was held by Peter Mandelson under Blair, so hardly low profile – became known as ‘The Invisible Man’. But now we’re going the whole hog for the poor old rump of the Lib Dems by knighting Clegg.

You might recall that a short while back I suggested he should be tried for treason? after he traipsed off to Brussels to hold secret talks on how to overturn the wishes of the electorate and sell his own country down the river over Brexit.

This is a man who has written a book on how to overthrow Brexit – effectively this means how to overthrow the elected government of Britain.

This is a man who commanded such great respect as Deputy Prime Minister – the role he is now being knighted for – that he lost his own seat at the General Election. Even his own constituents don’t want him.

He is needless to say a remoaner, and as Nigel Farage pointed out this week every single one of them has received recognition, CBEs, knighthoods. Not poor old Nigel though because he won the referendum campaign for Leave. We don’t reward the deserving in this country any more.

At least they’re not suggesting that Clegg be knighted for his services to charity after stitching us up for pissing 0.7% of GDP up the wall on foreign aid, whether it was needed or not. That would have been the final insult.

Whatever happened to the good old days when people like this were thrown into the Tower? I seem to remember quite a few of them were Knights of the Realm, so maybe there’s hope yet…

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End of the road…

It was a long night. It seems I was right about a Lib Dem wipe out and an SNP landslide. I should get a job as a political guru…

22:30 – The exit polls forecasting 316 seats for the Tories and the SNP winning all but one seat in Scotland. The one saving grace was that even with the SNP in tow, Miliband has no majority with a predicted 239 seats. At this stage, I am beginning to breathe a sign of relief – but it’s not over yet!

22:50 – First result in in Sunderland. No surprise that Labour held the seat, but the Lib Dems only got 791 votes, finished 5th behind the Greens and lost their deposit. UKIP do well by coming 2nd forcing the Tories into 3rd place. 56% turnout is not too shabby in a safe seat and it looks like UKIP is going to feature largely in this result one way or another.

23:15 – Second result, again in Sunderland, puts the Lib Dems 5th once more and another lost deposit. Looks like Lib Dems are deserting the sinking ship and going across to UKIP. Big swings to UKIP seem to be on the cards but thanks to our wonderful voting system they won’t get a lot of seats. There’s rumours that Ed Balls might lose his seat which, if true, at least means he won’t be around to wreck the economy! Fingers crossed…

23:37 – Ed Balls is on the Beeb living up to his name. I’ll go and make a cuppa or I’m in danger of chucking something at the screen!

00:17 – Bloody hell! Now Mrs Balls is living up to her husbands name. Seems the official Labour line is focusing on the Coalition losing it’s majority to minimise the attention on them losing seats. Smoke and mirrors…

00:40 – Interesting comment from Mandleson who is now referring to the Conservative Party as English Nationalists! Alan Johnson is still taking the line that the exit poll is unbelievable. Time will tell.

02:12 – The first Scottish result comes in from Kilmarnock and the SNP take it from Labour with a 26% swing. First Labour blood goes to the SNP.

02:21 – The SNP get rid of the Shadow Foreign Secretary, Douglas Alexander and just to rub it in the winner is a 20 year old student! That’s a 27% swing against Labour and the youngest MP since 1667. Things are getting interesting up north! I’m reminded of the 17% swing that unseated Michael Portillo which was regarded as sensational at the time. It’s got nothing on the SNP.

02:52 – The Lib Dems lose their first seat to the Tories. The electorate really seem to dislike the Lib Dems. There’s a surprise! Time they disappeared. If it wasn’t for the SDP they’ve have been gone years ago.

03:11 – Another SNP scalp in the form of Jim Murphy. If the leader of the Scottish Labour Party can’t hold his seat then I think we can right them off in Scotland. Meanwhile, ‘senior Labour ‘
sources’ are saying that Miliband has to go! Hurrah!

03:20 – There’s 100 seats declared and the results are coming in more slowly than usual, probably because of the increased turnout. So far, the forecast has not deviated from the exit poll so I’m off to bed and we’ll see where we are in the morning.

06:10 – Well, still about 175 seats to go and I wake up to the news that Danny Alexander, Simon Hughes, Ed Davey, Charles Kennedy and Vince Cable have lost their seats. Douglas Carswell has won for UKIP and Nigel Farage is still sweating it out and hours away from a result.
It’s been the predicted wipe out for the Lib Dems and I’m especially delighted that David Laws has been kicked out because after being kicked out in disgrace, they sneaked him back in when they thought we weren’t watching.
And while we’re at it, we’ve got rid of George Galloway as well. I’m amazed he’s hung on this long but at least he’s finally gone. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
The travesty seems to be that UKIP have gained 3.5 million votes, got around 12% of the popular vote, and look set to get a couple of seats. The SNP get 1.5 million votes and get at least 55 seats. It can’t be right, can it?

06:30 – Mark Reckless loses to the Tories. Not really a surprise. Reckless by name and it seems reckless by nature. Latest poll prediction is 325 for the Tories, but that could still go a few either way. Cameron will retain the keys to number 10.

With a bit of luck we’ll see the back of Miliband and Clegg after this so as far as I’m concerned it’s been a good night. UKIP has come second in over 90 seats and failed to break through due to the election system, but it’s progress of a sort.

So the big question as I make myself a cup of tea and take it up to Mrs D is whether the Tories will command a majority. We’ll find out later…

+ + + + UPDATE + + + + 

08:30 – YES! YES! YES! Ed Balls has lost his seat. I’m so happy they’re still scraping me off the ceiling!!!! One Ed down, one to go…

Which one’s the dummy?

The ‘Two Eds’ double act has been in full swing over the last few days. Anyone would think there’s an election or something..

After the overhyped and extremely boring leaders’ debacle last week, it was revealed that Ed M was working from a scripted set of responses and statements prepared for him by Obama’s former spin doctor on the basis of ‘if it worked for Obama, then it’ll work for me.” You might have noticed that Ed never answered any question he was asked. Hell, no! Here’s an excerpt from his notes :

  • ‘Happy warrior’
  • ‘Calm. Never agitated’
  • ‘Negative -> positive’
  • ‘Relish the chance to show who I am’
  • ‘Don’t let them know I’m a cunt’

OK I made that last one up, but you get the idea. I admit I have serious reservations about a PM who needs to remind himself what to be or or how to act from somebody else’s script.

But what about the other Ed – Ed ‘talking’ Balls? Well, he’s been on the offensive over tax. Apparently he’s pressing the Tories to promise not to reduce the top rate of tax and refusing to accept it when they say they’ve no plans to do so. Also he’s adamant that the ‘working man’ – whoever that might be these days – is £1,100 worse off since 2010 despite the fact that according to all the figures they’re actually not. I can however confirm that I am considerably worse off since 1997 and especially so since Brown became PM. You’re not going to win my vote with that argument.

Then just to prove my point, Balls was in a question and answer session over the weekend on Good Morning Britain. He was asked by an audience member what 6 times 7 was. He thought about it for an embarrassingly silent 10 seconds before answering and then spluttered “Actually my mother in law is the mathematician in our family!” Unfortunately, his mother in law isn’t putting herself forward as a future Chancellor of the Exchequer – although, frankly, she’d probably do a better job.

But never mind, because you always know there’s an election happening when politicians start kissing babies. Farage was photographed in Thanet, Clegg in Kingston and Cameron with one of his own in his kitchen and one of somebody else’s in Poole.

Miliband was nowhere to be seen. Presumably babies were not on his script…

Let’s all mass debate…

What is going on with this leaders’ election debate? Seems to me that it’s going from the sublime to the plain bloody ridiculous…

Winding back a bit, it all started when the Limp Dumps got into a coalition and insisted that there would be a five year fixed term parliament. Presumably this was because it was the only way Clegg was going to hold on to his slice of power for anything longer than a few months by preventing the PM from deciding when to call an election. As a result we have ended up with the longest election campaign in British political history. Believe it or not – and from the shenanigans that have been going on since the New Year it’s hard to believe – the official election campaign period hasn’t even started yet!

So let’s wind back a bit further to the 2010 election and the introduction for the first time of head to head leaders’ debates. They might well have bored the arse off most of us, but it was at least a chance to see the three main party leaders putting their cases forward as to why you should vote for them. But that was then and this is now. You might well think it set a precedent and therefore it was a done deal that it would happen again this time around.

You’d be wrong, of course. I think that it’s the emergence of UKIP as the third party in the opinion polls that caused the problem. That and the total collapse in the Lib Dem support.

Cameron is using every trick in the book to avoid a debate. I’m guessing he’s doing that because he doesn’t want a repeat of the ‘I agree with Nick’ scenario coupled with the fact that under his lacklustre leadership the Tories have had to adopt some pretty unpopular measures to address the mess left behind by Gordon Brown.

I look at it this way : If you don’t field candidates in at least half of the constituencies in the UK then you have no prospect of being PM and therefore you don’t need to be included in the debate. When I heard that a seven way debate was proposed, I thought ‘That’s damned silly’ – partly because of what I just said and partly because it’s just plain unwieldy. And, frankly, I couldn’t name seven national parties. If you look at the picture above, can you honestly say you recognise every one of them.

And it gets worse. Downing Street is now saying that the DUP – the DUP FFS! – should be included  too. Well if that’s the case, let’s include Sinn Fein, the EDL, the BNP, the Monster Raving Loonies and Al Murray’s FUKP. At least it would improve the entertainment value.

Then I thought “It should be restricted to the top three parties in the opinion polls” but to be fair I suppose as Clegg is in government he should be allowed to defend his record, so that brings it to four. In my view this is the way forward : A four way debate Con/Lab/Lib/UKIP and then follow it up with a straight debate between Miliband and Cameron who are, let’s face it, the only two with any prospect of actually being PM after May.

Cameron is, of course, having none of this and his proposal for a ridiculous single 7 way debate even has the rider on it that it must take place before his manifesto is published. What the hell is he afraid of? I can only speculate that Labour will trash him on health, UKIP will trash him on immigration and the EU, and Clegg will trash him by saying everything he wanted to do was blocked by Cameron.

So my guess is that these debates will not happen at all because the PM is running scared – and I have to tell you, Dave, that running scared is not a good way to win an election…

Going, going…

For a while now I have been predicting that the Liberal Democrats are going to be consigned to the dustbin of political history which, in my humble opinion, is where they should have been dumped many years ago.

For decades, this party has been buggering up the voting patterns at general election when the real choice is between Conservative and Labour. Splitting the vote by making promises that were unworkable and impractical that they knew they would never get the opportunity to put to the test. Well, that all went wrong when they found themselves in a coalition government. They finally managed to prove to the nation just what a waste of space they really are.

So as to prove this point, it emerged this week that with just under 120 days to go before the general election the Limp Dumps have so far managed to find 266 candidates. That’s less than the Green Party (310) and UKIP (386). Not exactly looking like a national party any more are they. Well at least we’ll be spared “I agree with Nick” in the next round of debates because with this sort of showing, they’re 5th on the list and unlikely to be appearing.

In 2010 the Lib Dems contested 631 seats and now they haven’t even covered half of that number. And the latest YouGov poll on Monday put them on 7% – one point behind the Greens. And let’s face it, when you’re lagging behind a bunch of tree hugging loonies with no practical policies whatsoever then you know damn well you’re in deep trouble!

So I think we can guarantee that there’s at least one party leader who will be out of a job shortly after May. Not, of course, that this will bother Clegg as lot as he’s been eying up a nice little EU commissioners job for a while now.

At least you can’t accuse the guy of not thinking ahead…