Category Archives: bullshit

Pontification

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What is it about so called ‘celebrities’ that they feel they have the right to talk down to the rest of the world as if they are some kind of degenerate mental pigmies? Why do they feel that they are so damned important and that only they know what is right and everybody else is just plain wrong? It makes me just plain angry…

We saw the latest example at the BAFTAs this week when has been, not very good film luvvie Ken Loach saw fit to proclaim that the “most vulnerable and poorest people are treated by this government with a callous brutality that is disgraceful. It’s a brutality that extends to keeping refugee children out that we promised to help. And that’s a disgrace too” he said.

Well, fuck you Ken because as far as I can recall you’ve not been opening up your unused bedrooms to house them so it’s alright for us to be inundated with with the flotsom and jetsom of the middle east just as long as you don’t have to have them anywhere near you.

And here’s some another gem from Loach : “In that real world it’s getting darker as we know. In the struggle that’s coming between the rich and the powerful, the wealth and the privilege, and the big corporations and the politicians that speak for them, on the one hand, and the rest of us on the other, the film makers know which side they are on.” Certainly do, Ken. You’re one of the rich and the powerful, the wealth and the privilege that’s speaking for us! Does this guy actually realise just how bloody stupid he sounds? I doubt it.

And, of course, arch luvvie Stephen Fry had to join in as well referring to President Trump’s furious description of Meryl Streep as “overrated” after she hit out at him during a Golden Globe speech, Fry said: “One of the greatest actresses of all time — only a blithering idiot would think otherwise — Meryl Streep. I would say underrated if I’m honest.” Well, you’re entitled to your opinion Mr Fry as I am mine. My opinion is that all three of you should stop abusing your platform to spout your political claptrap because, quite frankly, nobody really gives a flying fuck what you think!

And while we’re on the subject of two faced steaming hypocrite celebrities, what happened to all those ‘famous’ people who said they’d leave the country if we voted for Brexit? Still here, aren’t they! Just like all the other steaming hypocrite celebrities the other side of the Atlantic who said they’d leave if Trump became President.

Here’s a thought tho’ – maybe they all left after Brexit and came back after Trump? Just wondering…

Sorry! I just don’t get it…

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This morning we went for a walk along the Funchal sea front to investigate the far end of town. We’ve been in Madeira a few times but never ventured up there, so why not?

When our luxury trip to the Gambia went tits up, I considered a week in Reids. It’s supposed to be one of the world’s best hotels after all – so if it’s luxury you’re after, that should be a place you can find it. I have to say I’m glad we didn’t bother. The photos in the brochure look great but they don’t show the modern block of rooms in front of the old building. Kinda kills the old world charm angle for me.

Reids is, of course, now owned by Belmond who seem intent in cornering the ‘famous hotels’ market. I’ve been to the Residencia in Deya and their hotel by the amphitheatre in Taormina. In both cases I have to say I could smell the bullshit way before I even walked through the door. They’re not for me!

But I digress. Back to the point – which is why the fuck do people run marathons? You put yourself through hell just to run around in a circle for 26 miles. Why? It’s totally pointless, fucks your body, shortens your life and buggers your knee joints. For what exactly? So you can prove something to yourself apparently…

Well, I can prove something to myself by not running a marathon. I can prove that I’ve got better things to do with my life. Like I said, I just don’t get it…

…or Belmond hotels either come to that!

Fuck you, Asda!

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I used to like Asda for wine. They sold my favourite white at an excellent price and I’d go down there regularly for 6 or more bottles. But not any more because they’ve blown it…

I went down there and bought 6 bottles for £6.00 each. No bother. I went to the till and paid. Then before I left the store I thought “That doesn’t sound right?” and it wasn’t. They charged me £6.98 a bottle instead – so I went to the cashier and queried it. A girl went to the shelf with me and there it was : £6 a bottle so I said I’d been overcharged so gimme my six odd quids back.

“Can’t do that” she says. “Not able to do that on the tills. You either accept the £7 or we’ll give you your money back.” I’m a reasonable bloke. Not her fault. “Manager” says I. “Now please” and out comes some spotty faced kid who is apparently the manager of the wine department. “I’ll check the price” says he and buggers off. Five minutes later, back he comes and declares that the price I’ve been charged is correct and the price shown on the shelf is wrong. Again I’m told accept it or take a full refund. FFS!

“Store manager” says I. “Now please.” “Not available” I’m told. How convenient. “Here’s a solution” I suggest. “Just give me a gratis bottle so I have 7 at effectively £6 instead of 6 at £7.” Seems reasonable. It’s called customer service.

“Can’t do that” says he. “Messes up me stock control.” FFS again! “So” says I holding out a bottle at arms length, “what happens if I drop this and it smashes. How does your stock control handle that?” “That’s shrinkage” says he. “These things happen!” “So let’s pretend it happened this time and we can all go away happy?”

“Can’t do that” says he. FFS! FFS! I’m starting to lose it now! “So” I continues, “do you never have any wine stolen from your store that makes your figure wrong?” “That’s shrinkage” says he. I’m getting bloody nowhere and beginning to think that the major shrinkage is in this idiot’s brain cavity?…

“But it’s £6 on your website” says I, “and it’s click and collect. So if I put these 6 bottles back on the shelf and then go on line and order 6 bottles off your website, I get the same physical bottles from the same shelf in the same store for £6! What’s the problem.”

“That’s OK” says the moron. “The prices on the website aren’t necessarily the prices in the store.” “But it’s the self same actual physical bottles FFS!” “Yes, but you bought them on line not in the store – you just collected them from the store.”

So I’m marched down to the customer services desk where I’m ignored for around 15 minutes due to the queue of similarly pissed off customers, they refund my money and I piss off home without any wine.

What a bunch of fucking idiots…

Bono bollocks

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My regular reader might have worked out by now that I’m not a great advocate for political correctness, particularly amongst the know-fuck-all snowflake generation, but last week it hit new height of ridiculousness when Bono was awarded ‘Woman of the Year’!

Now even the great (?) man (?) himself recognised that awarding Woman of the Year to someone who isn’t a woman was bloody ridiculous. “This is ridiculous” he said. “And if I didn’t know it was ridiculous then there’s the internet to remind me!” Well, Bono me old mucker, I wouldn’t want to be the exception to that particular piece of your wisdom. What we need to ask ourselves tho’ is that if he knew it was ridiculous, then why didn’t he just say “Don’t be silly – I’m a bloke!” and decline the award?

Well, that’s just not the publicity hungry Bono’s self important way is it?

Then he got serious – well, serious by Bono standards anyway. “2016 might be the year I stop believing north stars are always visible, even through a layer of fog. This year, the north star looked like a neon sign, fizzing and crackling, ‘hate for hire,’ ‘girls for rent,’ ‘women need not apply,'” he said. “I say to the president-elect, look across to women. Make equality a priority. It is the only way forward. The train is leaving the station, be on it or be under it.”

So the latest in a long line of celebs lining up to give Donald Trump lessons in how to be President. Among them Mylie Cyrus who wants, from her vast experience in life, to explain to Trump “all the things he doesn’t understand.” What a twat…

Bono’s award was presented by Amy Poehler, a leading light in the womens’ right movement. Unfortunately, Amy doesn’t seem to apply the same sentiments to racism or sexism. Here’s what she said : “We are gonna spend the next four years watching white men congratulate themselves.”

White men like Bono, then, eh Amy?…

Labour is painful…

Corbyn and Watson - together forever (or maybe not...)

Corbyn and Watson – together forever (or maybe not…)

Yes, indeed labour is painful. My wife will bear me out on this point. Once was enough. But that’s not the labour I’m referring to. I’m referring to the Labour Party.

Now call me naive, but I thought the whole point of the Labour Party was to protect workers rights and stand up for the working man against unfair treatment by employers. You know, protecting their members’ jobs and that sort of thing. Indeed they seemed to be doing exactly that when they took the government to task for not stepping in to prop up the ailing Welsh steel workers. I dislike Labour intensely, but to be fair to them they were doing what their members pay them to do.

So why is it that when the government talks to Nissan to persuade them to build two new models in Sunderland and to invest in a post Brexit UK that Labour’s Shadow Chancellor feels he has to take them to task over it. Bit contradictory isn’t it?

And the latest joke came today when Jeremy Corbyn threatened to force a General Election unless Theresa May reveals details of the Brexit strategy. Speaking yesterday, Corbyn outlined his red lines for supporting Brexit.

Single market access (You don’t have to be in the single market to access it)
No watering down of EU workplace rights (Nobody is suggesting there will be!)
Guarantees on safeguarding consumers and the environment (A bit vague)
A promise to fund any EU capital investments lost by Brexit (Already promised)

So not really anything to worry about really, is there? Mind you, it sounds good that you’re demanding these things as long as you don’t mention that they’re already in the pipeline.

And when he was asked whether he would call for an early election if his so-called demands weren’t met, he got all shirty, complained of press harassment and did a runner.

Within hours of this Whitehall Farce, his deputy Tom Watson was already shooting him down on flames. Watson said “We’re not going to hold this up. The British people have spoken and Article 50 will be triggered when it comes to Westminster. We want to protect workers’ rights, we want to protect companies’ right to trade in the single market, tariff-free, we want to support jobs, we want to make sure people don’t lose out, but we’re certainly not going to hold up Article 50 if we don’t get the deal.”

That’s the deal Mr Watson’s actually already got, but still it does sound good. And what about Mr Corbyn threatening to side with pro-EU Tories to bring down the government? Well, no Tory MP is going to bring down his own party in government no matter how pro-EU he or she is. It would be political suicide. And even if Labour apply a three line whip, Corbyn has defied such a whip himself as a backbencher so often that the majority of the PLP would laugh at him. That’s the same PLP, remember, that passed a vote of no confidence in him earlier this year.

The fact is that this is all showmanship. He’s demanding something he’s going to get anyway and losing sight of the fact that he simply doesn’t have enough votes to force a confidence motion even if his entire party voted as he told them. It’s a simple numbers game.

Yes, Labour really is very, very painful…