Spanish getaways


I’ve been the whole world over
I’ve travelled far and wide
I’ve lounged around on beaches
I’ve camped on green hillsides
But there’s one thing that’s for certain
It’s the thing they try to hide

You think that they’d appreciate
I gave them hard earned dosh
They smile and they thank you
But it’s all a load of tosh
And I know what they’re thinking
And I don’t like it a lot

“Fuck off, fuck off! Please come again
You’ll see we treat you just the same
You think that you are welcome
But you’re really just a pain
We’ll see you back again next year
And fleece you just the same”

One star two star three star
Four star or even five
The only difference seems to be
The amount of shit they hide
They’ll treat you with indifference
And rob you just the same
And when your break is over
You’ll wonder why you came

I don’t know why I bother
It really seems a shame
The breaks I’m looking forward to
All turn out just the same
They’ll stick you in a tourist trap
And treat you like you’re crap
And beg you to come back again
To dish out more of that…

3 responses to “Spanish getaways

  1. That’s a most unattractive picture of a group of fat old gits! These are the very demographic who should be isolated, as they’re most at risk from the bug.

    We came this year, as every year,
    The signs were not so good.
    They spat bugs in our food & beer,
    We went home cased in wood.

  2. If I was good at picture editing I would send you a modified Jack Vettriano Singing Butler picture.
    But I am not, so I won’t.

  3. Mr D, you must ask your mate Chas C, to put this doggerel to muzak.