But this bothered Sir Bojo not as he sought to purge all the traitors and backstabbers from his inner circle and appointed special advisors like Dominic the Terrible to enforce his will. For an iron grip was to be needed if the people were to be freed from the evil Eurocrat Empire across the waters.
And Magic Grandpa was much peeved, seeing his chance to seize power slip away from him, so he did plot a coup against Sir Bojo. And Grandpa crept around the factions saying “Depose the Bojo and I will make all your dreams come true if you make me your leader. And I will only do so until we are tied back into the Evil Empire then I will step aside!”
But the leaders of the factions were not impressed and didst reply to Magic Grandpa with a might roar of “Fuck off! For we do not believe you!” Even those in Bojo’s circle who wanted to betray him were not moved for they knew that Grandpa could not be trusted.
And so Grandpa took to the road to spread his message of insurrection and rally his troops. “Make me your leader” he didst proclaim “and I will give you all the money you have ever wanted. For I have a magic money tree. I am a modern day Robin Hood and shall take from the rich to give to the poor. I shall transform our land for the many and not the few!”
And the people didst reply “Fuck off! For we have heard it all before and do not trust you!” And the troops did say “Fuck off! For you a shite leader and will lead us all into oblivion!”
And Grandpa descended into a deep depression for even his own people didst not believe him. “Fuck them all! They are all traitors to my cause!” he wailed. “I shall go and visit the King of Democratic Bongo Bongo Land where I know I will be loved and treated with the respect I deserve”
(…to be continued)