Our next PM

Tory.jpg.galleryIt’s the big question of the moment – who will make the least worse PM to replace the worst PM since Snotgobbler Brown? Will it be the Blonde or the Bland?

Sad to say that I have come to the conclusion that the Conservative Party is incapable of running a piss up in a brewery. They can’t even run their own internal leadership election, so what hope is there of them running the country?

First there is the fiasco that they can’t even issue the ballot papers properly. I was tempted to return both of mine but then thought better of it on principle. They’ve no idea who they sent multiple ballots to but they did write and ask. Anyhow, I returned mine two days before, according to the Tories, they have even been sent out.

Then there’s the incessant begging letters. Along with my ballot paper came yet another. Just tick the box to make a contribution to keep Corbyn out of number 10. £25, £50, £100, £250, £500, £2500. FFS! £2500!?! Who the fuck are they kidding? And exactly how will this money defeat Corbyn…

Then there’s the leadership hustings. There are two on the 13th I applied for weeks ago. Until today I had no idea where in my region they were being held. Security doncha know? Turns out the Colchester one is being held near Maldon. That’s a 75 minute drive each way for me. I decided to register my displeasure by leaving my seat empty as a protest.

They did ask for questions that we might like to ask the candidates, presumably so they can censor out the ones that they don’t like and make sure the blonde and the bland have their answers ready. What a farce. I did think of submitting something reasonable and then when called upon to read it, ask something completely different, i never was very sporting when it comes to politics. I like to play them at their own game.

But the piece de resistance came today in the latest missive from Branden Useless Lewis the party Charlatan – sorry, Chairman. Damned autocorrect! It’s the candidates’ address for the hustings.

Quote Boris : “As recent polling shows, I am best placed to deliver a majority for the Conservatives at a General Election”

Quote Hunt : “Poll after poll shows I am the candidate who is best placed to beat Corbyn, attracting the voters we need to win.”

So there you have it. The polls prove conclusively that both candidates are the best. So I guess you do a Trump (no pun intended) and vote for one you dislike least. My vote has gone to Boris. He might turn out to be useless but he seems to be the least worst choice.

As for Hunt, I can best paraphrase a comment once made about Michael Howard – “There’s something of the shite about him”…

2 responses to “Our next PM

  1. flaxensaxon

    Yea, I think Big Bad Boris is the best candidate- at least he has nice blond hair. Or more to the point, he has a personality. What happened to the ‘big’ personalities of old? They might be crap but at least they made you laugh. We face a similar problem in NZ. Our government is led by a bland Labour government and the Conservative opposition is led by a lack- lustre mouse of a man with the personality and dynamism of a tree sloth called Toby. Makes ya wanna burn stuff, dun it?

  2. At least with Boris we’ll have a chuckle as it all crumbles around us. I have always wondered why Hunt, when he comes on stage, waves manically and looks like a demented children’s entertainer on crack.