The World Cup

Call me a killjoy (You’re a killjoy, Dio!) but I’m sick and bloody tired of the World Cup! I turned on the TV this morning for my usual diet of false news and what did I get on every major channel? The World Cup. Apparently some fucking bunch of losers are kicking a ball around a field in Russia tonight. Who fucking cares? Certainly not me…

Although that’s not quite true, because of the endless stream of speculation from overpaid ex-footie cunts turned footie pundit cunts banging on and on and fucking on ad nauseum about the game. They really don’t seem to have got the message that we’re not all interested in football. Some of us actually find it tedious and boring. It is, after all, just surrogate tribal warfare. And doesn’t it show? Seen the war paint?

On the TV this morning was some reporter bloke standing outside a block of council flats somewhere in the Londonstan ghetto. Every single flat window and balcony was festooned with the flag of St George. If there wasn’t a footie competition going on then some right on snowflake twat would be banging on about racism and right wing fascist symbolism. After all, this is what the English flag represents. Unlike the Scottish, Ulster and Welsh flags which are simply patriotic.

So call me unpatriotic if you like (You’re unpatriotic, Dio!) but I sincerely hope that Columbia win tonight then, after the inevitable banging on and on about how we was robbed by bad refereeing decisions (it’s never about being outplayed is it?) we can dream about forgetting the rest of this crap. Except we won’t because then the over paid footie pundit cunts wouldn’t be able to justify their ego sized pay cheques and the TV companies would have to reschedule their programmes.

And in any case, we can always get on with the tedium of the annual grunting fest known as Wimbledon – after, of course, we’ve got over how we was robbed because Andie the plastic Englishman is not playing. Ever noticed how he’s Scottish when he loses and British when he wins? Either way he’s exceptionally boring.

Rather like the World Cup in fact…


9 responses to “The World Cup

  1. rapscallion

    I can happily accept that you don’t like footie, hey not everyone can, and no doubt it gets on your tits. Wall to wall tennis gets on my tits and I’m from Wimbledon FFS! Ditto Golf. Rugby leaves me neither here nor there, but footie, well, yeah I like footie, and it’s not just me Dio, it just happens to be the MOST popular sport on the planet.

    Yeah, footie IS tribal, fucking deal with. You know why, because as humans we’re tribal. My tribe (family) comes before your tribe. Geddit? And so strangely enough when England are playing why the fuck should you be surprised that English people cheer their team on and shout their heads off when England score, Nothing unites a nation like football does.

    I won’t call you unpatriotic, but I will call you a fucking stinking hypocrite. Hoping that Colombia win is no different to voting Remain – you don’t want YOUR country to win, be it sport, or trade, or politics.

    I thought you were better than that Dio

    • I want my country to win – but I never said I was English did I?

      I like the Mayan approach to football – yes, it was invented by ancient Mexicans not the English. The winning team’s captain was awarded the honour of having his heart cut out and sacrificed to the gods.

      The Columbians do it slightly differently. 24 years ago they murdered the player who scored an own goal in the world cup. Today they’ve told the two penalty takers who missed that their lives are in danger I’d they return home.

      Warfare indeed. All a bit over the top for something that’s just a game wouldn’t you say?

      And as far as uniting the country goes, nothing divides it quicker than football at club level.

      PS I voted Leave as a UK citizen not an English one.

  2. Stonyground

    Well I’m with you. Most of the time I’m totally indifferent to football but come world cup time I hate it. The reason being that apparently everyone is utterly obsessed with it that every media outlet is banging on about it incessantly. Yes, Mr. rapscallion, a lot of people like it but a lot of people don’t. I’m not wishing for England to lose quite yet, but the constant barrage of shit is pushing me closer to the edge. In the highly unlikely event that England do win it, we will presumably have to listen to people banging on about the 2018 world cup for the next fifty two effing years.

  3. Stonyground

    “… it just happens to be the MOST popular sport on the planet.”

    Is that based on the number of people that play it, or the number of people who just sit on their arses watching other people play it? Just asking.

  4. there is still the “beautiful game” underneath there somewhere..
    Emlyn Hughes’ Liverpool team – Johan Cruyff’s Dutch team… I will watch in hope..

  5. mikesplaceweb

    Great rant Mr Dioclese. Have linked over at my place.

    Love the footie but agree about over-the-top coverage.

  6. Pingback: Reblog: Maryam Namazie – Mike's Place

  7. Agree with you Mike. Spoilt by the coverage. There’s nothing on the main two BBC channels at the moment except football and tennis. All day every day…

  8. Stonyground

    Well nobody came back to me on my question about the popularity of football so I tried to research it myself. Estimates for the number of people participating in the UK vary wildly, between 2.5 million and 11 million apparently. Football is the most popular of the organised team sports. The only activity which is possibly more popular is running. Just one event, the weekly parkrun, attracts 3 million runners per week worldwide. There are running events of various distances pretty much every weekend and these involve between a few hundred and several thousand entrants each.

    Certainly as a spectator sport it is more popular than anything else although, if you cut out those who watch it on telly and only count people who watch it live, it is less popular than going to church.