Ominous news this week to all of us who live in Smalltown and are so lucky to live here. It seems that according to the “Smalltown Free Press” (available weekly for only £1.50 from your independent local paper shop) we’re in danger of becoming a victim of our own success! Oh dear! What could possibly be wrong in this picture perfect jewel in the English crown?
Well, it seems young people are being priced out of the housing market because everybody wants to live here and it’s forcing up the prices. The Press says we’re in danger of becoming a London dormitory town. Kings Cross is, after all, only two hours away on the chugger line making your door to door commute to work a doddle at about 5 hours a day! How easy is that after all?
Because of this, we need more affordable housing so that single young people can have their very own three bedroom detached starter home. None of this nonsense of pooling resources with a partner, foregoing eating out and going down the pub with our mates, saving up for a deposit and settling for a one bedroom flat in a cheaper part of town like their parents and grandparents had to! Blimey! How twen-cen is that?
The increase in house prices has, of course, nothing to do with the lack of availability of housing because buy to let landlords are cashing in on the rental market. Nor is it due to the two adjacent USAF bases whose personnel are snapping up the local housing and paying through the nose with the mighty dollar. Oh no! Nothing to with that at all!
After all, the Americans are an enormous boost to our local economy! Well, certainly if you’re a buy to let landlord anyway.
God bless the United States of America! We’re so lucky not to live there…