Yes, it’s the August bank holiday and, amazingly, the sun is shining even in Smalltown! So it’s time for our annual summer festival. Never mind Notting Hill. Oh no! Our festival is far better than that.
Notting Hill might have street parties, exotic dancers, parades, floats, music and veritable bon homie oozing from every pore of it’s being but we’ve got something much better. Food and drink! The town centre is transformed into a sea of plastic chairs from which, using nothing more complex than a pair of high powered binoculars, you can watch a ‘celebrity’ chef cooking! How exciting is that? Wowza!
And if you don’t fancy playing ‘Guess the Name of the Chef’ then there’s a series of events happening all across town. There are vetted and approved buskers at strategic locations throughout Smalltown – don’t bother auditioning if you’re over 25! We support our talented young entertainers in Smalltown.
Then there’s the various games we’re sponsoring to keep you entertained. Games like ‘The Used Needle Hunt’, ‘Kick the Blind Mans Dog’. ‘Throw a Coin in the Beggars Hat’ and let’s not forget ‘Spot the Indigenous Englishman’. Yes, win a major prize – a luxury one night stay in a local hotel. The second prize is a two night stay!
Never let it be said that in Smalltown we don’t know how to hold a festival. Oh, no! And with all this excitement going on, there’s not a stabbing or serious assault in sight. Well, not many anyway…
From our communities correspondent, Upton Nogood