Fuck you, Debenhams Mastercard

It’s a new day, and I’m pissed off with NewDay today…

FYI NewDay is the company that administers the Debenhams Mastercard and they’re a right bunch of incompetent, intransigent money grubbing twats. There. I think that covers it?

So why do I feel like this? Because I have a direct debit with them that pays off the full balance on the card every month – only last month, it didn’t work. No idea why. It just didn’t. So I contacted them when I noticed that the money had not gone out of the bank account and I checked the card on line. Seems the DD bounced – except when I rang my bank, they said it had never been presented. Never mind, they just slapped on a £12 fee for late payment, another £12 for a ‘returned’ direct debit, and £5 in interest because the balance hadn’t cleared. Like I said, money grubbing bastards – especially when I complained to them that they’d not taken the money in the first place!

Then on Monday I got a reply to my email. A standard letter saying ring them to discuss it. I thought “5p a minute for me to ring them to sort their balls up? Fuck ’em” – then on Tuesday I got a snotty letter informing me that my account was in arrears and that I should ring them to discuss payment! FFS!

I caved in and rang them. I had a 38 minute circular conversation with them – cost me £1.90 to try to sort out their cock up. Eventually, they refunded one of the £12 charges as a ‘gesture of good will’ ignoring the fact that by now any good will had flown the coop. The irk on the phone (a bloke called Zebi – I resisted asking if his second name was Dee…) kept telling me that it was down to my bank. That’s the bank I’d already spoken to on Friday who said NewDay had never asked for the money!!!

So I asked the irk who had the authority to refund these charges as he’d already told me he couldn’t. His reply? “I don’t know. I’ve only been here four weeks.” “Bloody well go and find out then!” No. Not interested. Not bothered. Couldn’t care less. They’ve got my money. They don’t care.

I got nowhere. Continuing circular conversation. More Magic Roundabout connotations sprung to mind. “You messed up” said Florence. “Fuck you” said Dougal. Boooiiinnng!!! “Hello Dougal and Florence” said Zebedee. “Fuck off, Zebedee” said Dougal and Florence…

Anyhow, a complaint has been registered. They will write to me. No doubt they’ll asked me to ring them to discuss it. At 5p a minute. Down to me. First ten minutes holding on in their queuing system.

The Debenhams Mastercard is now in pieces. I will never use it again. I will never shop in Debenhams again.

Fuck you, Debenhams. Fuck you, NewDay. Fuck you, Zebedee. You know where you can insert your credit card – and in ain’t in an ATM…


5 responses to “Fuck you, Debenhams Mastercard

  1. Send them an itemised invoice, then forget about it:
    Their fees & charges
    Your call charges (“0nly” £3? You think they round down?)
    Your admin charges, at £25/hr

    Give it 3 months, then remind them it’s unpaid, another 3, then use small claims.

    £25 is more than reasonable and has been tested. I’d personally go for that initially, then ramp up to £250, as that’s what I could be charging someone else were I not wasting time on them.

  2. Probably too late now but looking at the website “Say No to 0870” there is a Freephone number listed for NewDay Ltd re Debenhams credit card – 0800 9152251.

  3. Reply to their letter with an invoice for your time (@ £60 per hour is not unreasonable) plus all telephone charges – with an overall admin charge of say, £25 – plus a demand for the return of all fees, and see where you go from there.

  4. The AA did this to me, telling me that the DD “bounced”… Quick jaunt to Bank who showed me all their records and quelle surprise, nada, zip, zero, sweet fanny adams about any DD request. Back on phone and told them to sort it toute suite. Took the retards over a week AND they tried to up the fees. Bought new car, got better cover and told them to shove it where the Sun shineth not. I daresay that this Flamingo up (like a cockup but bigger and more spectacular) is not as rare as it was when I worked in a Bank (may they rot in Hell).

  5. Hence why I have never had and will never have any sort of card. I even detest my bank card, but it’s a necessary evil these days.
    I don’t do cards of any variety I am sick of being asked do you have our “Insert store name here” card Me “NO” Shop assistant “would you like one! you can save points!” Me “NO” Store assistants “But you can save……” Me *interjecting* “Look if I wanted a fucking store card I would ask for one, I am really not fussed about the 3000 pieces of junk mail you want to send me every month, and I don’t want the NSA to know I brought sanitary towels and hemorrhoid cream, so can you please shut the fucking fuck up about your poxy store card. Do you by any chance get a bonus for the number of poor saps you sign up?…..Store assistant nods….. me “see I knew that” now fuck off and give me my change…. Thank you for shopping with “insert name here” have a nice day… ME that’s another shop whose threshold I shan’t be crossing again ever!