The year of the prat

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The new year is upon us again. Gawd help us!..

Last night the bloody fireworks here started just before 6pm. FFS you can’t even eat your bloody dinner in peace. Still at least now 2016 is over, people might stop moaning about it? Fat chance!

All this reflection led me to ask what the Chinese year is. Apparently 2016 was the year of the monkey. 2017 is the rooster – and in case you’re wondering it starts on the 28th of January. It’s based on the phases of the moon in case you’re still wondering. No? Well, never mind…

Personally I reckon 2016 was the year of the prat. Cameron and Osborne shooting themselves in the foot. Corbyn pretending he can lead Labour. Fallon…well say no more! Zac Goldsmith losing his seat through terminal arrogance. Millions of people voting the wrong way because they didn’t know what they were voting for. Wee Kranky Sturgeon believing that Scotland can stay in EU when it was never in it in the first place.

Frankly there were some seriously deluded fools to the fore in 2016…

So what about 2017? Well here’s my predictions. Naturally most of them will be wrong :

Article 50 will be evoked in March – followed by the immediate announcement of a May general election. Labour will be decimated, UKIP will get several seats including one for Farage. The Tories will be returned with a huge majority.

The Turks will get piased off with the EU and vice versa and open the flood gates to immigrants. As a result the French will elect Le Pen and Germany will get shot of Merkel. There will be a vote on Frexit.

Debts will come home to roost in the ECB and the Euro will collapse. Greece will leave tbe common currency and reintroduce the Drachma. Global financial markets will react badly and there’ll be another global crisis. Interest rates will rise. Snowflakes will bleat. Idiots will blame Brexit. I’ll be busy counting my extra income, so sod ’em all!

Russia and America will go all buddy buddy, team up and blow the hell out of IS. About bloody time too. Trump will introduce trade tariffs to make home grown goods more attractive and that will spark off a trade war with China, who will then dump all their cheap tat on Europe instead. EU economies will suffer accordingly.

This time next year the world could well be very different. It might even be the second consecutive year of the prat. Frankly that’s almost a certain bet…

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7 responses to “The year of the prat

  1. “It might even be the second consecutive year of the part.”

    Even your autocorrect has snowflake tendencies: but I reckon there’s more than enough prats (I assume that’s what you meant) around for a re-run. Hopefully they might go in for clog-popping instead of celebs. God knows I’m fed up with the faux self-indulgent grief over some celeb the “griever” has never met or known, but at least clog-popping prats could give us all some much-missed amusement.

    • My new year resolution : Never write blog posts on a Kindle Fire! The autocorrect is a pain the arse, you can’t turn the predictive text off and its so bloody small you can’t read the damn thing to proof it…

  2. ’bout right I reckon
    (I’m so out of my tree, it took three attempts to spell rigth ritgh right)

  3. Dear Ted, I’m only 65 but I agree with a lot of your comments. Is that wrong?

    • At least you’ve joined the ranks of us getting a pay rise from the government. Mind you the pension is only a refund of your own taxes over the years…

    • Only 65? Pah! Still wet behind the ears. Just wait until you’re MY age (67 on the 7th January}.

  4. We can live in hope that this year will not be the year of the prat, however I am very dubious. But I do so hope some of your predictions come true 🙂 We also had fireworks from silly o’clock to silly o’clock flaming poles! Roll on 2017 for a revolution and some basic common sense to take hold, I shan’t be holding my breath!