Dear President Trump…


Dear Mr President,

First of all let me congratulate you on your victory and thank you for the money you won me when I got 100/1 odds against you from the bookies six months ago. I shall raise a glass to you out of my winnings…

Now you are President, can I humbly request that you implement the following policies?

(1) Would you mind closing your air bases in East Anglia and defending freedom’s future in your own country? I’m really sick of being surrounded by houses rented to your airmen and being woken up at 5am when they go off to work.

(2) Can you please appoint Nigel Farage as the US Ambassador to the EU? They really need putting in their place and he’s just the bloke to do it. Otherwise, the EU could end up bigger than the US – and you don’t want that, do you?

(3) Could you have a chat with Liam Fox and David Davies and flesh out a trade deal so we can tell the EU where to stick their single market / free movement deal? After all, it’s just like building that great big Mexican wall but for us it’s the Europeans

(4) Could you please get your navy to sink a few little rubber boats in the Med and blockade the Libyan coast for us? I’m afraid we just don’t have the boats or the balls to do it ourselves.

It’s not much to ask really when you compare it to our politics this side of the pond. Oh, and if you could avoid starting World War III with the Russians as well, that’d be really nice.

Have a nice day,



7 responses to “Dear President Trump…

  1. F*ck me! Not you too Dioclese. What’s this “Oh, and if you could avoid starting World War III with the Russians as well, that’d be really nice.” sh1t?

    You’ve been paying too much attention to the MSM bigging up a supposed spat with Russia where none exists. The MSM are busy diverting your attention to Russia, and thus deflecting it from something else they’re up to.

    If anything, it would be Clitpiece that would be starting war with Russia, not Putin.

    A Navy has ships, not boats (unless you mean submarines – because they’re always called “boats”). The difference ?

    Ok, A boat has one deck (or essentially one deck – like a standard yacht for example). A ship has MORE THAN one deck. Capiche. Good.

    Oh yeah, isn’t it great to bathe in the tears of those globalist/MSM/Grauniad/BBC/SNP/AGW types. With a bit of luck, that bitch Tolly Poynbee will self- combust.

    • Indeed. If anything, relations between Russia and the USA will improve under Trump.

    • Actually the final para was a swipe at the Killary project fear doom and gloom merchants. I think we’re safer with Trump than with the wicked witch!

      And I thought the definition was that you can put a boat on a ship but you can’t put a ship on a boat? And why are some of their ships called patrol boats? Fuck it – let’s call them all vessels to keep it simple 😂

      • Damn right he’re safer with Trump rather that Hitlery!

        Either definition of boat works for me Dioclese, and in fact The International regulations for the prevention of collisions at sea – known as “Colreges” describes all waterborne craft as “vessels”

        Sorted 🙂

  2. I’m sure the Trump/Putin relationship will be just dandy until it isn’t.

  3. We are living in interesting times, at least according to the leftist media. I’m waiting for the pestilence of ferrets….

    • Close, but no cigar. For decades we’ve all been suffering a pestilence of weasels – and we’ve actually voted for them every few years.