Small Town Monopoly

3381020030A Small Town Man post…

Here in Smalltown we’re never ever slow to tell people just how proud we are of our town! Oh, yes! Every honour that’s going is one we’re proud to grab a hold of.

So just imagine how proud we are to have been put forward for our very own customised Monopoly board!

This is, of course, a great honour and will do wonders to enhance the reputation of the town that we’re so lucky to live in. We’ve got our Cathedral, our shopping centre, all the best streets and squares all mapped out. We’ve got so much to offer, after all!

But hang on! There’s a problem! What are we going to put in the brown squares?!? These are the cheap properties, and here in Smalltown we’ve got nothing as common as Whitechapel or the Old Kent Road! Why, only last year we we’re recognised as having one of the top ten best residential streets in England. We just don’t do cheap and nasty in Smalltown!

So rest assured that when we’re picked to grace our very own Monopoly board, all the properties will be expensive, and we’ll all be good citizens and rush out to buy the game. They’ll sell out overnight!

But don’t despair! Give it a few months and you’ll be able to buy one in the local charity shop for a quid – or even for 99p postage free on eBay…


3 responses to “Small Town Monopoly

  1. You have ‘postage free’ products on eBay o’er there?
    Not here. Half the time the postage and handling fee is greater than the winning bid amount of the item.

    Except for one street where the rich and powerful live which has riverfront access, (and is now downwind of the newly built sewage treatment plant on the Quebec side of the river (Oh those Quebecois – such a sense of humour)), all of my little town would be Brown Squares. And the railroads would be replaced with Jails.

    • eBay is the other way around here – they stop you loading the postage by setting maxima. Sometimes the maximum is zero! Then the bastards charge you a final value fee on the postage as well. And of course PayPal is forced on you – you can’t list without offering it.

      Greedy buggers, eBay…!

  2. Oh dear! Smalltown didn’t get picked!
    Shurely some mistake…?