You can’t park here!

parking-tickets_3183205kA Small Town Man post…

Here in Smalltown we’re very hot on people parking where they shouldn’t and overstaying their welcome, so we’ve employed some highly motivated traffic wardens to keep things in order. Oh yes! Nothing gets past our wardens!

So I was a little surprised to find that there is a car in the municipal car park behind my house that’s been there since October. We sent our roving reporter to look into it.

And look into it he did. Well, he tried anyway. It was difficult to see through the windscreen due to the eleven parking tickets plastered on it. On the dashboard was a faded, barely readable note : “This car has broken down. It will be collected on 2nd December.” It’s still there! And it’s January! What shall we do?

Should we tow it away? Has it been abandoned? Should the police be told? Well, no. The police aren’t interested in cars parked on private land, so it’s a matter for the council. We asked their parking wallah, Mr warden (sic!) for a comment. He said “We’re doing our bit. We’ve put tickets on it!”

It’s such a shame that because the car hasn’t moved in three months that only the first ticket counts because it’s a single offence! “Nothing to do with me” said Mr Warden. “I’m just paid to write out tickets.”

Oh dear…

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4 responses to “You can’t park here!

  1. More ‘n me jobsworth, mate.

  2. Obtain entry to the vehicle – gently.
    Place a dog inside.
    Make sure doors and windows are closed and locked.
    Call RSPCA and the Police.
    That’ll sort it.
    Better if it is a hot, sunny day.

  3. I’d have started selling bits off it by now. That’s what Ebay is for…

  4. Here’s an update:
    Today is February 8th 2016. Mrs D had just pointed out to me that there is a traffic warden in the car park writing out YET ANOTHER parking ticket. We can see him from the back upstairs window. He’s finding it difficult to find a space on the windscreen for it because of all the other tickets.

    Just how thick can these people be!?! Four months it’s been there and they’re still giving it tickets. Has it not occurred to anyone that it’s dumped by now?

    Wankers!

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