FFS! First we had Stoptober (I drank even more just on principal), then there was Movember (I didn’t grow a tash) and then there’s Decembeard – well, I slipped up there by growing one although to be fair I grew it in October before I realised there was a Decembeard coming up and I quite like it so I’m not about to shave it off…

I’m indebted to my friend Longrider for pointing out the last piece of pretentious and ridiculous marketing bullshite – Veganuary. Apparently we’re all going to stop eating animals and bankrupt all the livestock farmers whilst continuing to wear leather shoes, belts and biker jackets. Like fuck we are! It’s all designed to sell overpriced ‘health food’ stuff.

So I’ve decided to get honest and I’m launching Marketruary. For the whole of the month of February I’m encouraging people to invent the most outrageously ridiculous marketing campaigns to persuade the public to part with money they don’t have on shite they don’t want to impress people they don’t know or like.

I’m not playing this stupid Veganuary game, because I love a good steak, I’m very partial to lamb, trout is just delicious and I’ve no scruples about killing animals in order to eat them. I’m not going to apologise for it – but I would condemn these stupid bastards who eat half and then throw the rest away. Or who let good food rot in the fridge. If you’re going to kill an animal then at least do the decent thing and eat all of it. IMHO to do any less is immoral as well as wasteful and stupid.

So please join in with Marketruary. You know it makes sense – because it’s bollocks and the world just loves bollocks…

… just like Veganuary!

Which you can stick right up your arse. Unless, of course, you regard that as misusing an animal product.


7 responses to “Marketruary…

  1. “…….- but I would condemn these stupid bastards who eat half and then throw the rest away………..If you're going to kill an animal then at least do the decent thing and eat all of it. IMHO to do any less is immoral as well as wasteful and stupid……”

    I don't understand. If you eat all of the animal it is decent, moral, thrifty and smart, but if you eat only half, it's indecent, immoral, wasteful and stupid?. I gather that killing an animal for food is inherently immoral unless a certain percentage of the beast is consumed, then it magically becomes moral?
    IYHO, at what percentage consumption is the transition point?
    90%? Or if one is to be considered moral one has to go whole hog and eat 100% of the beast? Like a McDonald's hamburger or a typical American 'hot dog' where every bit of the alleged cow – including the anus and hooves – is used?

    You Caucasoids and your conditional/sliding morality scales just crack me up.

  2. I liked “octabber” that was smokerloonies encouraging more smoking during october, the rules were to not to link real names to blogs so you couldn't be identified and then 31 loonies each had a day to promote smoking denial/conspiracy and the beauty of smoking and how it enriches their lives.

    Sterculian…I realise you haven't been around long so will post the link….oh by the way I like Asians like you..there aint nothing wrong with “thai brides” (I use that term as a general term)..they are lovely, cute, adorable faithful creatures with a cunning calculating streak to succeed and live the a life outside Asia.

    Probably my intellectual superiors without doubt.…..notice the resistance in the title, back in the day there were all getting very “military” and all that.

    Every Health campaign is met with hate and anger by smokerloonies, they just can't stand health advice since non smokers were protected from smokers.


  3. I'm partly supporting Veganuary. I shall only eat meat from grass-eaters.

  4. I'd go for the grain-eaters – melt in your mouth they do – the grass-eaters are tough and sinewy. Mind, the grass-eaters produce the better milk and dairy.
    For meat? Grain fed beef
    For Dairy? Grass and hay.

  5. New Zealand has 'Dry July'. As you can imagine this has zero compliance as most Kiwis are unrepentant piss heads.

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