FFS! First we had Stoptober (I drank even more just on principal), then there was Movember (I didn’t grow a tash) and then there’s Decembeard – well, I slipped up there by growing one although to be fair I grew it in October before I realised there was a Decembeard coming up and I quite like it so I’m not about to shave it off…
I’m indebted to my friend Longrider for pointing out the last piece of pretentious and ridiculous marketing bullshite – Veganuary. Apparently we’re all going to stop eating animals and bankrupt all the livestock farmers whilst continuing to wear leather shoes, belts and biker jackets. Like fuck we are! It’s all designed to sell overpriced ‘health food’ stuff.
So I’ve decided to get honest and I’m launching Marketruary. For the whole of the month of February I’m encouraging people to invent the most outrageously ridiculous marketing campaigns to persuade the public to part with money they don’t have on shite they don’t want to impress people they don’t know or like.
I’m not playing this stupid Veganuary game, because I love a good steak, I’m very partial to lamb, trout is just delicious and I’ve no scruples about killing animals in order to eat them. I’m not going to apologise for it – but I would condemn these stupid bastards who eat half and then throw the rest away. Or who let good food rot in the fridge. If you’re going to kill an animal then at least do the decent thing and eat all of it. IMHO to do any less is immoral as well as wasteful and stupid.
So please join in with Marketruary. You know it makes sense – because it’s bollocks and the world just loves bollocks…
… just like Veganuary!
Which you can stick right up your arse. Unless, of course, you regard that as misusing an animal product.