93 Men in a Boat [59] : The Lifejacket man

One thing that I have learnt during my years of travel is that people simply don’t listen to what you tell them. A perfect example of this is the Lifejacket Man…

We have been known to go ashore in little rubber boats which, of course, requires us to use lifejackets. So when it’s time to go, you grab a jacket from your cabin cupboard and you’re away. Then once you’re ashore you chuck the jacket in a bin and go a-wandering. Then you grab another before going back. One person, one jacket and if there’s a jacket left over at the end of the day,then you know somebody is missing…

All this is explained in detail at the briefing – along with the fact that the jacket you take ashore will NOT – definitely NOT – be the one you bring back aboard! Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

So there we are in the middle of nowhere having climbed half way up a mountain to look at some rock art. We’re back at the beach and along comes Lifejacket Man and his other half.

“I can’t find my jacket, woman! Which bin did you put it in?” She tries to explain that you just grab one, but he’s having none of it! “Don’t be so damn stupid. I want MY jacket not any old Tom Dick or Harry’s so where the bloody hell is it?”

Overhearing this, I feel honour bound to put him straight. “They’re all the same” I explain. “Just take one.”

“You’ve got mine!” he yells. “I know it’s mine because it’s got a red toggle on it!” That’s the red toggle you pull to inflate it should it fail to work when you fall in the water. They’ve all got one.

You can’t educate pork…

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