Burning off the calories

A Small Town Man posting…

Retail therapy is a wonderful stress reliever isn’t it? We all love to go shopping. It’s the country’s favourite pass time.

Well, here in Smalltown we believe that shopping can be so much more. Yes indeed! And being every so clever we’ve worked a way to make it even better with our shiny new iPhone app!

Mark Time, Small Opportunities for Business (SOB)’s chief executive was asked how this was going to happen – and here’s what the SOB had to say :

Walking is one of the easiest forms of exercise there is and by combining it with shopping it’s a way of burning off the calories and much healthier than shopping online!” Wow! That’s really really brilliant. We’re so lucky to live here! Tell us more…

We’ve measured a route from the car park, through the Smalltown Gardens, into the shopping centre and back again and it’s a mile and a half – but that’s not including going in and out of shops.” So we can get loads more exercise by going in and out of the shops too? Sounds wonderful!

Given that an average person walking reasonably briskly will burn in the region of 90 calories a mile it soon adds up, which means that those taking part in the Retail Therapy scheme can reward themselves with a cup of tea and slice of cake in one of our cafes after an afternoon’s shopping.

So let me understand this clearly – you burn off almost a whole 150 calories by working up a sweat with all that shopping and then you reward yourself by eating 800 more in the local cafe? Yes, I think I’ve got that.

It’s brilliant logic. You couldn’t make it up…


2 responses to “Burning off the calories

  1. Come to Tipton Mall- Once stabbed, the calories just bleed away….

  2. “…Retail therapy is a wonderful stress reliever isn't it?…”

    Nope: if it's Mrs T indulging therein, with my card, then it's the ultimate stress inducer.