So Labour has lost the general election and Miliband – possibly the second highest liability in the party after Ed Balls – has been pushed onto his sword by his oh so loyal comrades. Good.
Note that I say the ‘second highest liability’ because the bastard Balls was such a frightening prospect as Chancellor that even the Labour voters in his own constituency didn’t want to risk him running/ruining the economy and voted him out of his seat. Just in case. And I though Labour voters were thick!
So what do you do if even your own supporters can’t stomach Balls in government? Well, it’s simple really. You elect Mrs Balls as a replacement for Miliband. Are you fucking serious?!?
I admit I’ve never been a fan of Yvette Cooper Balls. She shows a total lack of judgement as is proven by her marrying that fat ugly bastard in the first place. Furthermore she bears a striking resemblance to a Tellytubbie with anorexia, in itself a frightening prospect in a prospective Prime Monster.
So what’s she really like? Well, in her Westminster office she has a picture of Emily Pankhurst who is her heroine, along with Mother Teresa and Mo Mowlem. She’s quick to dismiss comparisons with herself. I should bloody well hope so too! She’s not even in the same street.
Apparently, when she was young she wanted to be a tap dancer but got into politics when she came home and found her mother crying because the wicked Tory bastards had cut her aunt’s pension. Her aunt was apparently a saint. She says “She was like a matriarch in the community. She would deliver babies and she would lay out the bodies when people couldn’t afford the undertaker. She had done so much through her life and yet she was having her pension cut!” Pass the paper bag FFS. I think I’m going to throw up!
Speaking of her days at a comprehensive school in Alton, Hants, she recalls organising a prefect strike. “Andrew Searchfield came in one day wearing white socks and they were trying to send him home and suspend him from being a prefect. I wasn’t having that and we won the strike. It was the injustice, it wasn’t fair and that’s how I feel about things now.” Oh fuck, another paper bag please!
She just not real, is she? She comes out with all the bullshit but the mouthwash ain’t making it. She’s one of those people who think that once you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made. Hell, yes!
So if you what an anorexic Tellytubbie superwoman with all the sincerity of a wet paper bag running the Labour party, then you need look no further than Yvette Balls. Still, let’s look on the bright side; it should keep Labour out of power in 2020…