It is said that all pointless shite originates in America, the true home of empty headed thinking – and the guy who thought up remote car starting certainly proves the rule!
I thought this was a cultural thing. This is because at 5:30 every morning, the USAF bloke renting the house down my road leans out of his front door, points his bleeper and starts up his fucking clanky diesel gas guzzler underneath my bedroom window. As you might imagine this is a little irritating – so I thought I’d do some research…
It seems that you can now get one of these things that has an Android app for your phone to enable you to start the engine without even the pointy remote thing. In fact, you can do it from the comfort of your bed, or even someone else’s bed in the next street. Or even from a different continent FFS!
Now I understand that there may be an argument for one of these spawns of evil in the depths of winter when you want to start up the car and let the heater thaw out the windscreen, but why the fuck do you need one in August???
And apparently they’re offered on British cars now as well as imported Yankmobiles as a ‘value added feature’ (see under “V is for…”)
And the bastard things are breeding as more and more Yank airmen and women invade the properties down our street. There’s now at least four every morning firing up at around 05:20
The police had a word with one of them after I complained and informed him that leaving a vehicle unattended with the engine running on a public highway is an offence. Did it stop him? Did it fuck! Our laws don’t apply to the smiley faced arrogant bastards. Have a nice day, cunts…