Tomorrow is the big day. At-fucking-last !!!! So here is the Dioclese guide to who you should vote for in the biggest cuntfest in modern political history…
- SNP : Because I’m Scottish and I hate the fookin’ English, especially fookin’ Tooory bastards.
- Plaid Cymru : Because I’m Welsh isn’t it? And I hate the fucking English, look you bach? And Leane Woods has nice tits.
- Lib Dem : Because I’m a masochist and I hate the fucking Tories and the fucking Labour lefties. In fact I’ll hate anyone if it gets me elected.
- Conservative : Because I hate the fucking Labour Party and we’ve voted Tory for six generations
- Labour : Because I hate the fucking Tories and we’ve voted Labour for six generations
- UKIP : Because I hate the fucking EU
- Greens : Because everyone should eat their Greens. Greens help you shit yourself more easily
- Communist Party : Because at least their policies have been consistent for the last century
- Socialist Labour : Because Arthur Scargill deserves another chance at fucking up the country
- Monster Raving Looney : Because they have the most sensible and believable policies
In fact, anyone who can put a fag paper between a bunch of clowns making up policy on a day to day basis is a fucking genius. But if you don’t vote, then don’t complain about it afterwards. At least get off your arse and write ‘No suitable candidate’ across the ballot paper! Put up or shut up…
All I know for sure is that if Miliband gets in – on his own or with the help of the SNP – then this country is well and truly fucked because Ed Balls will make sure of it.
And lest we forget…