Manifestos : The Communist Party of Great Britain

In the interests of not being biased in this forth coming cuntfest General Election, I feel I add to my round up of the party manifestos.

Accordingly, I have read the manifesto of the Communist Party of Great Britain. To be fair to the reds, it’s a lot easier to read than most of the other parties because, at 22 pages, it’s a lot shorter.

Here’s the main points they want to put forward to attract your vote on May 7th :

  • Leave the European Union which it claims gives power to big business – presumably rather than the Communist Party?
  • Leave NATO, which it says is the “greatest threat to world peace” – apart from our friends and allies in Russia of course…
  • Abolish the tax-haven status of some 28 British overseas territories and dependencies – including the Channel Islands which last time I looked wasn’t part of the UK
  • Tax the rich and big corporations – redistribution of wealth, the old socialist cry to end any incentive to do well on the basis that if you earn more then they’ll take it off you.
  • Take control of Britain’s economy “for sustainable development” – bit vague that one?
  • Public services for all – mass nationalisation of just about everything!
  • Wage war on poverty and the cost of living – also a bit vague
  • Real equality for women – ‘real’? How about equality for men as well?
  • Fight racism and fascism – but not communist dictatorships presumably
  • Extend democratic rights in a progressive, federal Britain – so abolish the monarchy and install the chairman of the Communist Party – works well in other countries, doesn’t it?
  • Independent foreign policy for Britain – as long as we do what Moscow tells us?
Yes, it’s all a good laugh until you realise that they are perfectly serious and believe that this stuff would actually work in the real world. 
They’ve not really changed anything since Karl Marx wrote his original communist manifesto so I suppose that you have to give them points for conviction and steadfastness in the face of the changes that have happened in the intervening years. After all, if you can ignore the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of the USSRm then you can ignore just about anything…
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3 responses to “Manifestos : The Communist Party of Great Britain

  1. Whilst I agree that most of it is fantasy land stuff and that Russia is not a glowing example of the communist system at work, it's perhaps worth pointing out that currently one of the strongest, if not the strongest, economies in the world belongs to China – a communist state if I'm not mistaken.

    The Channel Islands are not part of the UK, but are British Crown Dependencies. Quite what that means in law I have no idea. I suspect that if any of the islands found themselves under threat the UK would suddenly have direct responsibility for them.

    I have no problem with people earning large sums, so long as they really are earned. However, it does seem very iniquitous that some people receive millions and others very little. For example, people working in care homes don't get paid very much, they work hard, doing a job that is often unpleasant and very stressful, requiring a certain set of skills, doing 12 hour shifts. Do the chairmen of banks work any harder, or longer hours? After all there are only 24 hours in their days, same as everyone else’s. A little redistribution of wealth via the tax system seems like quite a good idea to me. As Thomas Carlyle said “all work is noble”.

    When I was a teenager Communism appealed to me quite a bit. The idea of everyone being treated equally, and all working for the common good sounded great. As I got older I realised that the real world is full of crooked, deceitful, greedy, back stabbing bastards, and the only way to survive was to look out for number one.

  2. Indeed, Sir.

    I have read (it might be apocryphal) that Churchill said “If you are not a communist at 16, there is something wrong with your heart. If you are still a communist at 30, there is something wrong with your head”.

    Apocryphal or not, it's rather succinct, isn't it?

  3. I was not aware that Churchill had said that, but spot on, as usual.

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