Top Gear is dead. Long live Top Gear…!
News this week that after the BBC ceremoniously dismissed Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear Live 2015 will not be happening. But hang on a minute… haven’t we sold loads of tickets and booked the venues? Indeed we have. Can’t let all those petrolheads down. We might get sued. We might have to give the money back. We might not make loadsa dosh! Can’t have that…
So Top Gear Live is cancelled. In it’s place will be ‘Clarkson, Hammond and May Live’. It’s nothing to do with Top Gear. You can tell because all the Top Gear branding has been removed and all reference to the BBC purged. It’s definitely not Top Gear. Oh, no! Definitely not!
Well call me cynical, but I believe in the Universal Rule. This states “No matter what you call it, shit is still shit”, and this definitely a great big steaming mountain of shit.
Come on BBC. Don’t make out that you’ve sacked the bloke and then work around the problem by calling it something else. We’re not stupid. Well most of us anyway. And we can see through the ruse so why are you bothering?
Well, a BBC spokesman called it “a sensible approach in the circumstances” and said it had agreed the tour could continue “so as to not disappoint fans”. A bit like suggesting that the 1,000,000 fans who signed that petition wouldn’t be disappointed by Clarkson being sacked, isn’t it?
A spokesman for Brand Events, who are co-producing the shows, said they wanted to thank “ticket holders for their continued patience”. “The fans are the most important people to Jeremy, Richard and James so we’re delighted to be able to say ‘we’re still coming’. We’re sure it’ll be something you won’t want to miss.”
So just to clarify : The BBC have sacked Clarkson and not sacked him at the same time. The BBC will stand to make loadsa dosh. The BBC will be sued by Brand Events if they cancel. The BBC is able to disappoint and not disappoint Top Gear fans at the same time.
The BBC are clever bastards to pull off a trick like this. Well, no actually. They’re just a load of money grubbing hypocritical arseholes…