Every ship needs a good PA system – a method by which the passengers can be kept informed of developments and useful information.
On our last trip we had two – only one of which required electronics to make it work!
We found that the most efficient method of disseminating information was to tell Mrs PA and it would go all around the ship in next to no time at all. Marvellous.
In over a month together I can’t remember ever coming across her when she wasn’t talking. She simply didn’t ever stop. Ever. Really. And she had a voice like breaking glass to boot. And jaw muscles like iron…
She just loved to talk. She lived for it. She especially liked to talk about other people and didn’t give a damn who was listening even when the people she was gossiping about were sat at the next table and could hear every word.
On occasions she was quite entertaining. I learned things about myself that I’d never knew before – because she had an unfortunate tendency not only to exaggerate somewhat but also to get people mixed up.
In the end I couldn’t resist it. I thanked her most sincerely for reinventing my life. After all, it made people think that I was far more interesting than I actually am.
If only it was all true…