Happy Birthday, Mr President

News over the weekend of Robert Mugabe, President of Southern Rhodesia Zimbabwe celebrating his 91st birthday with a grand bash on the lawns of the Victoria Falls Hotel – a place where, coincidentally, I was treading the turf myself only a few weeks ago.

Two elephants, two buffalo and a lion were slaughtered for the feast and seven huge cakes were on display in one of the tents. One giant, 91-kilogram creation depicted the spectacular Victoria Falls. 91 balloons were launched in to the air. Supporters chanted “Forward with President Mugabe”. Forward into the dark ages, I suspect.

Everywhere you go in Zimbabwe there are portraits of the old cunt hanging on the walls. It’s like something out of 1984. Nobody wants to be seen to be opposing the old bastard in case they disappear in the night.

And he marked the occasion with a one hour speech and promising to expel the last remaining 163 white farmers from the country. “We don’t need a white man to continue to guide us. No. We are now equipped with skills,” he said. Yeah, right. I spent three days in Zimbabwe and I saw no sign of these skills where I went.

And the cost of this annual birthday bash? Well, on this occasion it was around US$1,000,000 which is an obscene amount of money in a country so impoverished. Perhaps he should have used one of these :

It’s for real. I’ve got one. It’s worth two thirds of fuck all. All thanks to Robert Mugabe.
If there was oil in Zimbabwe, he’d have been dead years ago…

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One response to “Happy Birthday, Mr President

  1. I've got a $1 Zimbabwe note, I suppose that's worth more for its rarity value!

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