Are they raving mad?

Take a good look at the above picture and then ask yourself this simple question. Would you roll this across your face?

This is the latest beauty craze from America (where else?) called the Dermaroller. About 2in across, it has a barrel covered in ultra-fine ‘microneedles’, spikes designed to pierce holes in the skin, a bit like aerating the lawn.

And why would you want to do this? Well, apparently stimulates the skin to repair itself and can significantly improve the appearance of acne scars, ageing and sun-damaged skin, wrinkles and stretch marks. And the good news is that the worse your skin is, the greater the results.

Dermarollers work by producing thousands of microscopic needle holes in the dermis, which prompts the skin to produce new collagen and elastin and generate new cells. Sounds like complete bollocks to me, but then I’m not a dermatologist.

Now you would think that all this is pretty painful, and you’d be right because when a ‘trained therapist’ does this to you, you first get your face numbed with an extra strong anaesthetic cream before a union jack criss cross pattern is etched into your face.

Of course, it bleeds a bit – but then no pain, no gain as they say. And the next day you look like shit, but that’s the price of beauty and it is claimed that you could always pass it off as a bit of sunburn of wind burn. So that’s alright, then…

But the most worrying thing about this crazy idea is that you can buy these on a do-it-yourself basis. If you don’t believe me, just have a look on eBay. There’s loads of them.

To be fair to the manufacturers of the genuine article, they strongly advise that you only get this done by a registered Dermaroller practitioner, who will book you in for three session at around £300 a pop.

So if you are mad, then buy one on-line and destroy your face. If you are barking mad, then pay somebody loads money to do it to you – which, to be fair, is at least a lot safer.

Apparently, Angelina Jolie swears by it, and just look at her complexion. That is if you can see it under all that slap…


2 responses to “Are they raving mad?

  1. Robert the Biker

    Don't fancy it much myself, mind you, I can think of a few little scrotes my way I wouldn't mind trying it on."Come 'ere you little bastard, I'm going to improve your skin for you"

  2. I suppose you could also use it for aireating a little bosai lawn as well.