Muslim jokes

Earlier this week, I published a post about Anjem Choudray which prompted the following comment : “Have you noticed that you never, or hardly ever, see a Muslim laugh or smile. It may just be me not getting out enough, but what does a Muslim find funny? Are there any Muslim jokes which don’t result in a fatwah, or even a thinwah? Just curious”

Well, I take my commentors seriously, so here’s a few I dug up :

Did you hear the one about Jewish-Muslim comedy night? The rehearsals were going really well until the Jews occupied the Muslim half of the stage.

Got kicked out of my local mosque the other day. I walked in while they were praying and well… I couldnt help myself…I LOVE LEAP FROG!

What is a muslim’s favourite pick up line? “Hey babe, I like your eyes.”

In deference to The Archbihop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as ……”English Weather..’ Rather than offend a sizable portion of the population, it will now be referred to as ‘muslim Weather.’
In other words – ‘partly Sunni, but mostly Shi’ite’

Aziz, Ahmed and Mustafa are three brothers. They each send some money back home to their old mom and dad.
Aziz sends them money so they can add one more room to the house and live more comfortably.
Ahmed sends them money so they can buy some second hand car, drive around and have some fun instead of being bored.
Mustafa sends them a parrot.
The parrot was specially trained in Mecca and it can recite Kuran by heart, so parents can just tell him the chapter where to start and bird will start reciting.
After a while they get a letter from the parents. It says: Dear sons, Thank you for your gifts. Ahmed, we added one more room to the house. We don’t use it much, but now I have one more room to clean. But still thank you for making the house nicer.
Aziz, we bought the car, but we are not using it much. We are old and tired, so we don’t leave the house unless we have to. But it still comes in handy when we need to go somewhere.
Mustafa, your present was the best – the chicken was delicious.

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he’d like a drink.
He replied in disgust “I’d rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!”
Paddy handed his drink back and said “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!”

That should be enough for a thinwah…


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