The Seventh Day Repressionists are an ancient Welsh religion whose origins date back to the time of the druids.
Their founder, the Reverend Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn, preaches that anything that can even remotely be construed as fun should be banned on Sunday, the Lords day, because by closely examining the world around us it can clearly be seen that God has no sense of humour. The church regards eating cake and drinking tea as being particularly sinful.
The Church holds it’s annual convention each year at the International Eistedfod which it refers to as the International Festival of Gloom. The Reverend Llewellyn explains : “Fun? There’s no fun at the eisteddfod ‘Eisteddfod’ is an old Welsh word from the Old Welsh. It comes from two words ‘Eistedd’ meaning ‘bored’ — and ‘fod’ meaning ‘stiff'”.
The Church also believes in scarification, referring back to the trials of Jesus Christ at the hands of the Romans. This is symbolised in their most sacred ritual where a chosen pilgrim is given a good rub down with a brillo pad.