Paralympic humour

There’s been a bit of fuss lately about bad taste jokes surrounding the advent of the paralympics, so just for good measure I thought I’d chuck in a few of my own…
A guy is walking on the beach one day, and comes across a girl with no arms and no legs. She is crying, so he asks her, “Why are you crying?” 
She replies, “I have never been hugged.” So he picks her up and gives her a big hug. 
The next day he is walking on the same beach, and he sees the same girl crying, so he walks up to her and asks her again. 
She replies, “Well I have never been kissed.” So he leans over and gives her a big kiss. 
The 3rd day he is again walking on the same beach, and the same lady is crying and the man can’t figure out why? He has hugged her and kissed her. So he walks over and asks her for the 3rd time, “Why are you crying now?” 
She responds, “Well, I have never been fucked.” 
The man picks her up, throws her in the water and says “Well, you’re fucked now.”
A woman gives birth to a disabled baby. The parents go to see it for the first time to be confronted with nothing but a giant eyeball in a cot.
The couple are distraught and pour their heart out to the doctor.
“Unfortunately” says the doctor “it gets worse.”
“How the hell can it get worse?” demands the father.
The doctor replies “He’s blind.” 
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair? 
Park and Ride.

A woman places an ad in the paper: “Single woman seeks a man who doesn’t chase skirt, who is not a groper, and is well endowed.”
Some days later she hears a loud knock on the door: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. She opens the door and there is a man with no arms and no legs.
She says “What do you want?” He replies “I’m here for the ad.”
She asks “Are you sure to fit the description?”
He says “I have no legs so I can’t chase skirt. I have no arms so I can’t grope.”
She asks “Are you well endowed?”
He replies “How the hell do you think I knocked on the door?!”

A man is in a car crash and is rushed to hospital where he is found to be completely paralysed on his left side – but he’s going to be all right!


2 responses to “Paralympic humour

  1. A Paralympic athlete was interviewed on Radio 4 on Friday and commented "the crowd went mental…!"Jim Naughty (?) was later discussing Twitter Paralympic humour and quoted the above as "insensitive use of words" Paratwat.

  2. @banned Thanks, I needed that!