The Dear Gill Letters (12)

Daddy’s incandescent…

Darling, I’m so sorry that I haven’t written for a while, but you probably heard about that little spat that Daddy’s been having up at his estate up in Yorkshire?

I mean, would you want an abattoir in your back garden? I went up there for a few days to try and cheer him up. He was telling me that everybody is against it. The local butcher wants to slaughter about 10,000 animals a year right on his doorstep. Can you imagine the smell not to mention the bits of mangled flesh flying out the windows and inconveniencing passers by.

To be fair, the locals had a meeting and none of them want it either, but the local council reckons that there are ‘sound grounds’ for the project and have approved it. Daddy’s absolutely incandescent with rage! He’s practically had a heart attack over it all.

And to make it worse, it’s been approved by a Conservative run council! I asked Dave to have a quiet word with them, and I don’t know what he said to them but it seems to have rather made things worse. They reacted by giving the little bugger even longer opening hours than he asked – probably stamping their little feet and muttering things about independence and undue influence and stuff!

I tell you what though. If the council leader’s still looking forward to the New Years Honours list, he’d better be thinking again…

The house is open to the public in the summer and you can image what this is going to do to the garden tours – it just doesn’t bear thinking about.

Anyway, we’re lying low and making accomodating noises at the moment over that dreadful business at the News of the World. Dave’s come in for a lot of stick from the dreaded Millipede over employing Andy as his press secretary. I mean what was he supposed to do? They say he exercised bad judgement in taking him on but as far as I can see the bad judgement would have been not sacking the little shit when all this hacking business came out.

Dave wants an enquiry into it all to salvage something from the whole mess – you know, exercising strong leadership and upholding the integrity of the law and all that sort of stuff. Trouble is once Rupey’s got his hands on Sky he could really do some damage at the next election. Dave’s really on a knife edge with this one.

Perhaps we could get him to do the opening ceremony at the new abattoir and arrange a little accident? Only joking, but I suspect it would put the smile back on Daddy’s face for a while!

Toodle pip for now,


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